Davis: "Yes and its Question number 18. This is another regular round, its the 'I shoot stuff round'"
ME: "Eh? Rich?"
Davis: "Yes, I have in my hand an air pistol. It takes small stainless steel ball bearings which it fires at an extremely high velocity. I have loaded 10 of these ball bearings in my pistol and I'm going to go outside by the lovely River Aire and attempt to shoot as many ducks as i can."
ME: "Christ on a bike, Rich, are you sure about this?"
Davis: "Oh yes. So Question number 18 people, is, how many ducks will I hit?"
Audience: a collective muttering of unease.
Davis: "And an extra two bonus points if you can guess correctly how many I manage to kill"
ME: "Er, Rich, isn't it illegal to shoot ducks with an air pistol?"
Davis: "I think you're thinking of swans"
ME: "Hmmm, i don't know, I'm pretty sure you shouldn't do this. Mick is shaking his head."
Davis: "Fuck Mick, I'm gonna shoot some ducks"
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Pub Quiz with Walter and Gershom
Walter and Gershom Scholem, whilst at the University of Muri, used to run the pub quiz at the student bar. Adopting pseudonyms since the material was a little close to the edge, they called themsleves Mick and Rich. Here is an account of how that went:-
OK and finally from me tonight, and possibly forever, which popular English actor said the following: - “Slapping a woman is ok, but never be heavy handed about it. It’s a delicate art. The fine brush-work of a beautiful love affair”
I’ll give you a clue; he’s Mick’s favourite actor, he was popular in the 60’s and is still well loved today.
Scene shifts to Mr Davis who is talking to a friend:-
Davis: "Damn, he's got them eating out of his hand with all his controversial questions and his swearing."
MrX: "Don't worry, your doing great, your stuff's really funny."
Davis: "yeah, well, i can do controversial too, you know. They love all the controversial questions, well i'll show them controversial"
Me: "So that was question 17 and now over to Mr Davis for the final few questions."
Davis: "Thank you, and onto our final few questions and first up is another regular round,......"
OK and finally from me tonight, and possibly forever, which popular English actor said the following: - “Slapping a woman is ok, but never be heavy handed about it. It’s a delicate art. The fine brush-work of a beautiful love affair”
I’ll give you a clue; he’s Mick’s favourite actor, he was popular in the 60’s and is still well loved today.
Scene shifts to Mr Davis who is talking to a friend:-
Davis: "Damn, he's got them eating out of his hand with all his controversial questions and his swearing."
MrX: "Don't worry, your doing great, your stuff's really funny."
Davis: "yeah, well, i can do controversial too, you know. They love all the controversial questions, well i'll show them controversial"
Me: "So that was question 17 and now over to Mr Davis for the final few questions."
Davis: "Thank you, and onto our final few questions and first up is another regular round,......"
Tuesday, 28 April 2009
Pub Quiz with Walter and Gershom
MR DAVIS: One of those is made up, which one is it, question 11.
OK and question 12, question 12 is another regular round, its everyone’s favourite, the ‘What Tom Cruise Believes’ round, does the egomaniac joke, Cruise believe that the Earths real name is Teegeeade and that the universe has been ruled for the last 75 million years by an evil alien called Xenu? What Tom Cruise believes, True or False
OK folks, question 13, and back to the Nazi’s again, where would we all be without them? When Hitler met Mussolini, Adolf described Benito as “The type of man born only once every 1,000 years” but how did Benito describe Adolf?
A) My best mate
B) A nut job
C) Drunk
D) Like a girl
And finally from me before I hand you back to Mr Allhouse, question number 14, True or False;
As part of his job description The Pope is not allowed to smoke.
ME: OK people, thanks to Mr Davis there for bringing the temperature down a bit, I’m afraid Mick is looking none too pleased with us today, this might be our last quiz, ah well, you know we’ve been banned from quizzing before, ah, i could tell you the story of how we got banned before.
MR DAVIS is shaking his head and mouthing "No"
ME: Ah, but we wont go into that tonight, it’ll just make things worse.
So ok, trying to be good now; trying to not offend anybody, onto question 15 and it’s another true or false question: is it true or false that Muslims believe that The Dead Sea was created when Allah drowned all the gays? True or False people, could it be the case that Muslims believe that or did we just make that up?
And Question 16 is also True or False and its about Mr Sigmund Freud, is it True or False that Freud believed that women are so good at weaving because they are psychologically trying to weave their pubic hair together in order to prevent penetration, penis penetration.
OK and question 12, question 12 is another regular round, its everyone’s favourite, the ‘What Tom Cruise Believes’ round, does the egomaniac joke, Cruise believe that the Earths real name is Teegeeade and that the universe has been ruled for the last 75 million years by an evil alien called Xenu? What Tom Cruise believes, True or False
OK folks, question 13, and back to the Nazi’s again, where would we all be without them? When Hitler met Mussolini, Adolf described Benito as “The type of man born only once every 1,000 years” but how did Benito describe Adolf?
A) My best mate
B) A nut job
C) Drunk
D) Like a girl
And finally from me before I hand you back to Mr Allhouse, question number 14, True or False;
As part of his job description The Pope is not allowed to smoke.
ME: OK people, thanks to Mr Davis there for bringing the temperature down a bit, I’m afraid Mick is looking none too pleased with us today, this might be our last quiz, ah well, you know we’ve been banned from quizzing before, ah, i could tell you the story of how we got banned before.
MR DAVIS is shaking his head and mouthing "No"
ME: Ah, but we wont go into that tonight, it’ll just make things worse.
So ok, trying to be good now; trying to not offend anybody, onto question 15 and it’s another true or false question: is it true or false that Muslims believe that The Dead Sea was created when Allah drowned all the gays? True or False people, could it be the case that Muslims believe that or did we just make that up?
And Question 16 is also True or False and its about Mr Sigmund Freud, is it True or False that Freud believed that women are so good at weaving because they are psychologically trying to weave their pubic hair together in order to prevent penetration, penis penetration.
Monday, 27 April 2009
Pub Quiz with Walter and Gershom
Walter and Gershom Scholem, whilst at the University of Muri, used to run the pub quiz at the student bar. Adopting pseudonyms since the material was a little close to the edge, they called themsleves Mick and Rich. Here is an account of how that went:-
RICH: to me: Hey you know that Quiz guy’s girlfriend was laughing a lot while you were doing your questions. It was pretty funny actually, he was shaking his head at you and looking all disapproving and she was laughing her head off
ME: Cool. She’s hot. She’s not really pretty or anything but she’s somehow kinda hot.
RICH: anyway how do you think we’re doing?
ME: Ok, they’re laughing. Well Mick’s not really laughing but other people are.
RICH: yeah I think we’ve blown it, I don’t think he’ll want us back. Look that quiz guy is over there now talking to him and they look like they’re conspiring.
ME: Hmmmmm
RICH: Anyway, you were going to tell me something earlier, something about a conversation
ME: Aw yeah man, this was great. So yeah, I’m at work and I’ve got the office windows open and there’s this group of girls sat just outside the windows and I hear their whole conversation. And it’s just great, they’re about four Asian girls and this one white girl and the white girl asks them; "If Muslim men, when they go to heaven get to have sex with all these virgins, then what’s heaven like for women?"
So like first of all they deal with the virgin thing and explain that things that are a sin in this life are not a sin in heaven, so like there’s rivers of alcohol running through heaven and its perfectly ok to drink it because you know, its heaven, if you made it this far you must be good.
Anyway then they go on to tell her that heavens also great for women because, and get this, in heaven they have the best market in the world, like the best market you can possibly imagine, with the most beautiful cloth you’ve ever seen and you can buy as much of it as you like.
Aw man, it was great, so this one girl is telling the white girl all this like its totally amazing and its going to totally convince the white girl that Muslim heaven is shit hot, and all the other Muslims are all like nodding and agreeing. It was hilarious. The white girl is smiling and agreeing but you could tell she was pretty shocked by what she was hearing
RICH: So basically all the guys are getting pissed and shagging virgins and the women are shopping for fabric
ME: Yeah, that’s basically it. Great eh?
Man, it was the way they were describing it that was so funny, you know like that was the best thing you could possibly have.
RICH: Anyway, better start again.
ME: What’s your next question?
RICH: Trisha
RICH: To audience: OK people its time to press on with the quiz and question number 11: This is one of a regular round, the ‘Not the Trisha show’ round. One of the following is a made up episode of Trisha, which one is it? A, B, C or D?
So which is the made up Trisha episode?
A) I married you for a dare
B) I slept with 30 women for revenge
C) Husband, why do you pretend to be a lesbian?
D) I’m in love with the Pope
RICH: to me: Hey you know that Quiz guy’s girlfriend was laughing a lot while you were doing your questions. It was pretty funny actually, he was shaking his head at you and looking all disapproving and she was laughing her head off
ME: Cool. She’s hot. She’s not really pretty or anything but she’s somehow kinda hot.
RICH: anyway how do you think we’re doing?
ME: Ok, they’re laughing. Well Mick’s not really laughing but other people are.
RICH: yeah I think we’ve blown it, I don’t think he’ll want us back. Look that quiz guy is over there now talking to him and they look like they’re conspiring.
ME: Hmmmmm
RICH: Anyway, you were going to tell me something earlier, something about a conversation
ME: Aw yeah man, this was great. So yeah, I’m at work and I’ve got the office windows open and there’s this group of girls sat just outside the windows and I hear their whole conversation. And it’s just great, they’re about four Asian girls and this one white girl and the white girl asks them; "If Muslim men, when they go to heaven get to have sex with all these virgins, then what’s heaven like for women?"
So like first of all they deal with the virgin thing and explain that things that are a sin in this life are not a sin in heaven, so like there’s rivers of alcohol running through heaven and its perfectly ok to drink it because you know, its heaven, if you made it this far you must be good.
Anyway then they go on to tell her that heavens also great for women because, and get this, in heaven they have the best market in the world, like the best market you can possibly imagine, with the most beautiful cloth you’ve ever seen and you can buy as much of it as you like.
Aw man, it was great, so this one girl is telling the white girl all this like its totally amazing and its going to totally convince the white girl that Muslim heaven is shit hot, and all the other Muslims are all like nodding and agreeing. It was hilarious. The white girl is smiling and agreeing but you could tell she was pretty shocked by what she was hearing
RICH: So basically all the guys are getting pissed and shagging virgins and the women are shopping for fabric
ME: Yeah, that’s basically it. Great eh?
Man, it was the way they were describing it that was so funny, you know like that was the best thing you could possibly have.
RICH: Anyway, better start again.
ME: What’s your next question?
RICH: Trisha
RICH: To audience: OK people its time to press on with the quiz and question number 11: This is one of a regular round, the ‘Not the Trisha show’ round. One of the following is a made up episode of Trisha, which one is it? A, B, C or D?
So which is the made up Trisha episode?
A) I married you for a dare
B) I slept with 30 women for revenge
C) Husband, why do you pretend to be a lesbian?
D) I’m in love with the Pope
Pub Quiz with Walter and Gershom
Walter and Gershom Scholem, whilst at the University of Muri, used to run the pub quiz at the student bar. Adopting pseudonyms since the material was a little close to the edge, they called themsleves Mick and Rich. Here is an account of how that went:-
RICH: Yes, thank you, ok everybody, I’m going to take it down a notch or two, ok, let’s go.
Question number 7
Question number seven is a true or false question, is the following statement true or false:
In the 1940’s, Heinz produced a version of alphabetti spaghetti for the German market which consisted solely of swastika shaped pasta.
Is it true or is it false?
ME: Nice, look, Mick looks a little bit happier. He loves that Nazi stuff. Mind you, who doesn’t? Hey did I tell you about the conversation I overheard today? It was hilarious.
RICH: Hold on I’ll just do this one then we can do a break
Question 8:
There’s been a lot of debate just recently about who’s best at finding witches. Personally my moneys on The Witch finder general Matthew Hopkins, he’s undeniably the most successful witch finder of all time. Hence his title. Infact he was so good at witch finding that he pretty much never made a mistake, but the question is; which of the following was NOT one of his sure-fire ways of determining if someone was a witch: Was it
A) they had an extra nipple
B) Having a pot that boils without fire
C) Having a wet nose
or D) Having a talking calf
A,B,C or D, which is not true?
Ok, and
Question number 9
Serial Killer Ian Brady broke his 6 year hunger strike this week by eating what?
Was it
A) another prisoners jizz
B) tapioca
C) a Cadburys cream egg
D) a boy
QUIZ RIVALS: I tell you they’ve gone quiz happy. You can’t say stuff like that, its just bad quiz.
RICH to me: I’ll just do up to 10 then we’ll have the break.
RICH: to audience: OK folks and just to calm it right down before we take a break, Question 10:
What percentage of men have tried their partner’s breast milk?
OK we’ll take a 15 minute beer break, back in a bit.
RICH: Yes, thank you, ok everybody, I’m going to take it down a notch or two, ok, let’s go.
Question number 7
Question number seven is a true or false question, is the following statement true or false:
In the 1940’s, Heinz produced a version of alphabetti spaghetti for the German market which consisted solely of swastika shaped pasta.
Is it true or is it false?
ME: Nice, look, Mick looks a little bit happier. He loves that Nazi stuff. Mind you, who doesn’t? Hey did I tell you about the conversation I overheard today? It was hilarious.
RICH: Hold on I’ll just do this one then we can do a break
Question 8:
There’s been a lot of debate just recently about who’s best at finding witches. Personally my moneys on The Witch finder general Matthew Hopkins, he’s undeniably the most successful witch finder of all time. Hence his title. Infact he was so good at witch finding that he pretty much never made a mistake, but the question is; which of the following was NOT one of his sure-fire ways of determining if someone was a witch: Was it
A) they had an extra nipple
B) Having a pot that boils without fire
C) Having a wet nose
or D) Having a talking calf
A,B,C or D, which is not true?
Ok, and
Question number 9
Serial Killer Ian Brady broke his 6 year hunger strike this week by eating what?
Was it
A) another prisoners jizz
B) tapioca
C) a Cadburys cream egg
D) a boy
QUIZ RIVALS: I tell you they’ve gone quiz happy. You can’t say stuff like that, its just bad quiz.
RICH to me: I’ll just do up to 10 then we’ll have the break.
RICH: to audience: OK folks and just to calm it right down before we take a break, Question 10:
What percentage of men have tried their partner’s breast milk?
OK we’ll take a 15 minute beer break, back in a bit.
Sunday, 26 April 2009
Pub Quiz with Walter and Gershom
Walter and Gershom Scholem, whilst at the University of Muri, used to run the pub quiz at the student bar. Adopting pseudonyms since the material was a little close to the edge, they called themsleves Mick and Rich. Here is an account of how that went:-
Script from Final Pub Quiz. Part 3:-
Ok, ok question number 5
True or false
Chimps raised amongst humans have been known to masturbate to pictures of naked women. True or False
OK question number 6 is my picture round and my colleague Mr Davis will shortly come amongst you with photos of two of my turds which I did on different days and what you have to do is identify what it is I ‘d been eating
RICH: I thought we agreed we weren’t going to do this one?
ME: Err
RICH: yeah we talked about this and we agreed that this was going Abit too far and maybe we’d leave it for this week
ME: Err
RICH: I think we should, its not going well as it is
ME: OK OK, er ok well, ok, were not going to do that question after all so let’s err, let’s do question number 6 ok
So, ok folks, question number 6
Am I Jewish?
Yes have a look at me people, am I Jewish?
Some of you think you know me, but do you? Do you really?
AUDIENCE: what’s your name?
ME: Actually my name is Michael
AUDIENCE: Jew JEW, JEW
ME: to Rich: Blimey
ME: to audience, yes my name is Michael
AUDIENCE: What’s your last name?
ME: Ah now that i'm not gonna tell you, ok so am I Jewish, that’s question 6 folks, yes or no?
RICH: Poor Mick, he looks really annoyed, I think I’m going to do some nice questions about capital cities to calm him down.
He’s got a point you know, there’s two old ladies over there, just finished their dinner.
ME: I saw one of them laughing earlier
RICH: Well
ME: Ah go on, maybe you should do a few questions get him to calm down.
ME, to audience: OK folks and now over to Mr Davis for a few questions.
RICH: Yes, thank you, ok everybody, I’m going to take it down a notch or two, ok, let’s go.
Question number 7
Script from Final Pub Quiz. Part 3:-
Ok, ok question number 5
True or false
Chimps raised amongst humans have been known to masturbate to pictures of naked women. True or False
OK question number 6 is my picture round and my colleague Mr Davis will shortly come amongst you with photos of two of my turds which I did on different days and what you have to do is identify what it is I ‘d been eating
RICH: I thought we agreed we weren’t going to do this one?
ME: Err
RICH: yeah we talked about this and we agreed that this was going Abit too far and maybe we’d leave it for this week
ME: Err
RICH: I think we should, its not going well as it is
ME: OK OK, er ok well, ok, were not going to do that question after all so let’s err, let’s do question number 6 ok
So, ok folks, question number 6
Am I Jewish?
Yes have a look at me people, am I Jewish?
Some of you think you know me, but do you? Do you really?
AUDIENCE: what’s your name?
ME: Actually my name is Michael
AUDIENCE: Jew JEW, JEW
ME: to Rich: Blimey
ME: to audience, yes my name is Michael
AUDIENCE: What’s your last name?
ME: Ah now that i'm not gonna tell you, ok so am I Jewish, that’s question 6 folks, yes or no?
RICH: Poor Mick, he looks really annoyed, I think I’m going to do some nice questions about capital cities to calm him down.
He’s got a point you know, there’s two old ladies over there, just finished their dinner.
ME: I saw one of them laughing earlier
RICH: Well
ME: Ah go on, maybe you should do a few questions get him to calm down.
ME, to audience: OK folks and now over to Mr Davis for a few questions.
RICH: Yes, thank you, ok everybody, I’m going to take it down a notch or two, ok, let’s go.
Question number 7
Pub Quiz with Walter and Gershom
Script from Final Pub Quiz, Part 2:-
ME: Anyway onto question number 2;
Which American singer said of his aunt “I’ll kill that bitch; I’ll sew her cunt up and throw her over that damn wall”
LANDLORD MICK: ok ok come on now, behave, come on that’s enough now.
ME: I’ll give you a clue he was and still is very popular, although he’s dead now.
OK and on to question 3
Which of the following is not the name of an artwork by Gilbert and George; is it
A) Spit on Shit
LANDLORD MICK: come on
ME: Sorry Mick, its ok, it’s just the first few, don’t worry. So yeah, which is the bogus work of art, is it
B) Say Fuck off to rich bastards
C) Prostitute puff
D) Gay dog
QUIZ RIVALS: shaking head: Man, this guys gone quiz mental, he’s quiz happy. He’s committing quiz suicide. Quizacide
ME: And on to the True or False round, the following few questions are either true or false you just have to tell me which. I’ll make a statement and you have to decide if it’s true or false. Ok so, question 4;
US Rapper 50cent is so called because when he was in prison that’s how much the other inmates used to pay him for a suck job.
RICH: Suck job?
ME: Yeah suck job, I hear that’s what they call them in US prisons.
How do you think we’re doing?
RICH: Not good, Mick looks really angry; when you did that Spit on Shit stuff he looked really angry. I think you’ve blown it, I don’t think we’ll be asked back next week.
ME: Anyway onto question number 2;
Which American singer said of his aunt “I’ll kill that bitch; I’ll sew her cunt up and throw her over that damn wall”
LANDLORD MICK: ok ok come on now, behave, come on that’s enough now.
ME: I’ll give you a clue he was and still is very popular, although he’s dead now.
OK and on to question 3
Which of the following is not the name of an artwork by Gilbert and George; is it
A) Spit on Shit
LANDLORD MICK: come on
ME: Sorry Mick, its ok, it’s just the first few, don’t worry. So yeah, which is the bogus work of art, is it
B) Say Fuck off to rich bastards
C) Prostitute puff
D) Gay dog
QUIZ RIVALS: shaking head: Man, this guys gone quiz mental, he’s quiz happy. He’s committing quiz suicide. Quizacide
ME: And on to the True or False round, the following few questions are either true or false you just have to tell me which. I’ll make a statement and you have to decide if it’s true or false. Ok so, question 4;
US Rapper 50cent is so called because when he was in prison that’s how much the other inmates used to pay him for a suck job.
RICH: Suck job?
ME: Yeah suck job, I hear that’s what they call them in US prisons.
How do you think we’re doing?
RICH: Not good, Mick looks really angry; when you did that Spit on Shit stuff he looked really angry. I think you’ve blown it, I don’t think we’ll be asked back next week.
Pub Quiz with Walter and Gershom
Walter and Gershom Scholem, whilst at the University of Muri, used to run the pub quiz at the student bar. Here is an account of how that went:-
Script from Final Pub Quiz, Part 1:-
Ok folks and welcome to this weeks quiz, thanks a lot for coming and first of all I’d like to make abit of an apology. At last weeks quiz I said quite a lot of things that were pretty out of order and I’d like to apologise. I know Mick was quite offended by a lot of what I said and he’s basically told us in no uncertain terms that if we carry on like we did last week, we’ll be out on our heels.
So folks, we’ve got one last chance here to do a fun, interesting and NOT offensive quiz. OK, so guaranteed this week there’ll be none of that offensive stuff. To be honest I feel pretty ashamed of myself for reading all those Repulsion lyrics out, all that “lonely girl walking in the park, bite her f*cking throat, tear the flesh apart”. All that, good god, what was I thinking? that’s just horrible, and when I was going on about “limbless bodies piled up, one of them I slowly f*ck” well good God, what an image to put in your minds: me on a pile of corpses, having sex with one of them, really slowly, Christ, I really don’t want you all imagining me doing that, thats horrible.
What can I say? In my defence, my girlfriend had just left me and I had been drinking quite heavily. It’s a sad story folks and I’d love to go into more detail but I guess this isn’t the time or place so I’ll just tell you that I’ve got the drinking under control and me and Mr Davis are both determined here to do a good clean quiz so lets press on with question one:-
OK, Question one; What is Bukkake? I’ll give you four possible answers so you just have to tell me which of the following is the correct answer, is it
A) A Mexican Gay
B) A south Korean dish involving fried cows udders
C) A type of Japanese porn where a group of men ejaculate onto a woman’s face
D) My pet name for my girlfriends private parts
Script from Final Pub Quiz, Part 1:-
Ok folks and welcome to this weeks quiz, thanks a lot for coming and first of all I’d like to make abit of an apology. At last weeks quiz I said quite a lot of things that were pretty out of order and I’d like to apologise. I know Mick was quite offended by a lot of what I said and he’s basically told us in no uncertain terms that if we carry on like we did last week, we’ll be out on our heels.
So folks, we’ve got one last chance here to do a fun, interesting and NOT offensive quiz. OK, so guaranteed this week there’ll be none of that offensive stuff. To be honest I feel pretty ashamed of myself for reading all those Repulsion lyrics out, all that “lonely girl walking in the park, bite her f*cking throat, tear the flesh apart”. All that, good god, what was I thinking? that’s just horrible, and when I was going on about “limbless bodies piled up, one of them I slowly f*ck” well good God, what an image to put in your minds: me on a pile of corpses, having sex with one of them, really slowly, Christ, I really don’t want you all imagining me doing that, thats horrible.
What can I say? In my defence, my girlfriend had just left me and I had been drinking quite heavily. It’s a sad story folks and I’d love to go into more detail but I guess this isn’t the time or place so I’ll just tell you that I’ve got the drinking under control and me and Mr Davis are both determined here to do a good clean quiz so lets press on with question one:-
OK, Question one; What is Bukkake? I’ll give you four possible answers so you just have to tell me which of the following is the correct answer, is it
A) A Mexican Gay
B) A south Korean dish involving fried cows udders
C) A type of Japanese porn where a group of men ejaculate onto a woman’s face
D) My pet name for my girlfriends private parts
From Walter's Diary
On the way to Germany, on the plane from London to Amsterdam, just across the isle from us, a man is sat who looks just like Larry David from ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’. He is travelling alone and seems a little lost.
Whilst the rest of the plane dons their headsets and watches the in-flight films, Larry simply stares at the screen without putting on the headset. He watches the silent screen for hours.
At the beginning of the trip we are all given a blanket and a pillow, all of which are, of course, identical.
Midway through the flight Larry decides to go to the toilet. On his return he cannot seem to find his blanket, looking around he see’s that the Chinese woman across from him, and just in front of us, has a blue blanket just like his. Thinking she has stolen his blanket he asks her if he can have it back.
“No, this is my blanket, I don’t know where yours is”
“It was just there, you must have picked it up”
“No, this is mine”
“But that’s mine”
“No its not, this is mine”
He reaches for it to take it.
She pulls it away looking angrily at him.
“Get off, Go away”
Disgruntled, Larry goes back to his seat. He settles back down to watching his screen without his headphones, or indeed his blanket.
At that moment my sleeping girlfriend stirs and quietly says “cold”. She already has her blanket pulled tight around her shoulders but I take mine and place it gently over her knees. I tuck it in around her to keep her nice and warm.
I look over at Larry to see him looking at me with a wild look in his eyes. Shit, he thinks I’ve stolen his blanket and given it to my girlfriend. He looks really angry but does not get up.
For the rest of the flight Larry periodically looks daggers at me.
Whilst the rest of the plane dons their headsets and watches the in-flight films, Larry simply stares at the screen without putting on the headset. He watches the silent screen for hours.
At the beginning of the trip we are all given a blanket and a pillow, all of which are, of course, identical.
Midway through the flight Larry decides to go to the toilet. On his return he cannot seem to find his blanket, looking around he see’s that the Chinese woman across from him, and just in front of us, has a blue blanket just like his. Thinking she has stolen his blanket he asks her if he can have it back.
“No, this is my blanket, I don’t know where yours is”
“It was just there, you must have picked it up”
“No, this is mine”
“But that’s mine”
“No its not, this is mine”
He reaches for it to take it.
She pulls it away looking angrily at him.
“Get off, Go away”
Disgruntled, Larry goes back to his seat. He settles back down to watching his screen without his headphones, or indeed his blanket.
At that moment my sleeping girlfriend stirs and quietly says “cold”. She already has her blanket pulled tight around her shoulders but I take mine and place it gently over her knees. I tuck it in around her to keep her nice and warm.
I look over at Larry to see him looking at me with a wild look in his eyes. Shit, he thinks I’ve stolen his blanket and given it to my girlfriend. He looks really angry but does not get up.
For the rest of the flight Larry periodically looks daggers at me.
Saturday, 25 April 2009
The transformation of waste
Some of those Flesheaters lyrics:-
"About the Evil god (yes)
About the Evil Seers killing people for their money (yes)
I am a prophet at my death (yes)
I am a root of the stem of Jesse (yes)
We have made many discoveries.
We have found out who the people with the mark of the beast are.
And the devil was a human being now killed and cast into hell
and the angel with the keys of the bottomless pit is in hell casting out all the good souls which these evil people have cast into hell for no reason.
The good Seers who serve our God are 1/3 to 2/3 of the evil ones in this world.
We are better at holding our own,
but in Heaven God is almost over come
and I kill myself so I may go and help him, because I have a funny little quirk in my brain which helps.
About the Evil god (yes)
About the Evil Seers killing people for their money (yes)
I am a prophet at my death (yes)
I am a root of the stem of Jesse (yes)"
"About the Evil god (yes)
About the Evil Seers killing people for their money (yes)
I am a prophet at my death (yes)
I am a root of the stem of Jesse (yes)
We have made many discoveries.
We have found out who the people with the mark of the beast are.
And the devil was a human being now killed and cast into hell
and the angel with the keys of the bottomless pit is in hell casting out all the good souls which these evil people have cast into hell for no reason.
The good Seers who serve our God are 1/3 to 2/3 of the evil ones in this world.
We are better at holding our own,
but in Heaven God is almost over come
and I kill myself so I may go and help him, because I have a funny little quirk in my brain which helps.
About the Evil god (yes)
About the Evil Seers killing people for their money (yes)
I am a prophet at my death (yes)
I am a root of the stem of Jesse (yes)"
What 70's Bowie believed
What 70’s Bowie Believed
70's Bowie believed all kinds of bleak distopian weird nazi alien drug space stuff.
This is 'What 70's Bowie Believed':-
That Nasa has a black hole in a metal box buried in the desert in southern America. If the hole gets free it will consume the world.
What 70's Bowie Believed
70's Bowie believed all kinds of bleak distopian weird nazi alien drug space stuff.
This is 'What 70's Bowie Believed':-
70's Bowie Believed that Astronaut John Glen saw something on the moon which was so shocking he swore he would never speak of it again.
70's Bowie believed all kinds of bleak distopian weird nazi alien drug space stuff.
This is 'What 70's Bowie Believed':-
That Nasa has a black hole in a metal box buried in the desert in southern America. If the hole gets free it will consume the world.
What 70's Bowie Believed
70's Bowie believed all kinds of bleak distopian weird nazi alien drug space stuff.
This is 'What 70's Bowie Believed':-
70's Bowie Believed that Astronaut John Glen saw something on the moon which was so shocking he swore he would never speak of it again.
David Bowie - Nazi?
What 70’s Bowie Believed
70's Bowie believed all kinds of bleak distopian weird Nazi alien drug space stuff:-
70's Bowie:- "I'd adore to be Prime Minister, And yes, I believe very strongly in fascism. The only way we can speed up the sort of liberalism that's hanging foul in the air at the moment is to speed up the progress of a right wing,totally dictatorial tyranny and get it over as fast as possible. People have always responded with greater efficiency under a regimented leadership. A liberal wastes time saying, "Well now, what ideas have you got?" Show them what to do, for gods sake. If you don't, nothing will get done."
What 70’s Bowie Believed
70's Bowie believed all kinds of bleak distopian weird nazi alien drug space stuff.
In Hollywood, in the 1970's, Bowie lived on milk, 4 packets of Citanes a day, and various legal and illegal drugs.
70's Bowie believed all kinds of bleak distopian weird nazi alien drug space stuff.
70's Bowie;- "Adolf Hitler was one of the first rock stars."
70's Bowie believed all kinds of bleak distopian weird Nazi alien drug space stuff:-
70's Bowie:- "I'd adore to be Prime Minister, And yes, I believe very strongly in fascism. The only way we can speed up the sort of liberalism that's hanging foul in the air at the moment is to speed up the progress of a right wing,totally dictatorial tyranny and get it over as fast as possible. People have always responded with greater efficiency under a regimented leadership. A liberal wastes time saying, "Well now, what ideas have you got?" Show them what to do, for gods sake. If you don't, nothing will get done."
What 70’s Bowie Believed
70's Bowie believed all kinds of bleak distopian weird nazi alien drug space stuff.
In Hollywood, in the 1970's, Bowie lived on milk, 4 packets of Citanes a day, and various legal and illegal drugs.
70's Bowie believed all kinds of bleak distopian weird nazi alien drug space stuff.
70's Bowie;- "Adolf Hitler was one of the first rock stars."
Flesheaters
Flesheaters
Flesheaters have a myspace. Check out their latest tunes:-
http://www.myspace.com/eatersflesh
Flesheaters have a myspace. Check out their latest tunes:-
http://www.myspace.com/eatersflesh
Saturday, 18 April 2009
The Trap
Whilst working as a Librarian at the University of Muri, Benjamin neglected his duties and spent too much time daydreaming. He regularly got into trouble with his boss, Professor Schicht. Benjamin loved his office which looked out onto a grassy knoll where staff and students would gather, oblivious to Walter's presence. He would regularly overhear private conversations and, as with everything else, Walter would collect them:-
Today two young Asian lads:
1: "Yeah, I fell really hard, I fell like this, right on a brick, it really hurt. X (name unclear) was laughing and you know sometimes when someones laughing, well, i just went into murder mode, you know when you go into murder mode, like a switch.......I recon he's took some beatings anyway."
2: "Yeah, he's took some beatings. "
Ambient noise drowns the voices...
2. "What you do when you work out? You do upper body work? I work on my legs but never do no upper body work. What you think, it matter?"
1. Nah, I like to work on my upper body, but your legs are more important. If you got your legs nice that's more important. If you got good legs then whatever happens in a fight, you'll still be standing."
2: "Yeah"
Today two young Asian lads:
1: "Yeah, I fell really hard, I fell like this, right on a brick, it really hurt. X (name unclear) was laughing and you know sometimes when someones laughing, well, i just went into murder mode, you know when you go into murder mode, like a switch.......I recon he's took some beatings anyway."
2: "Yeah, he's took some beatings. "
Ambient noise drowns the voices...
2. "What you do when you work out? You do upper body work? I work on my legs but never do no upper body work. What you think, it matter?"
1. Nah, I like to work on my upper body, but your legs are more important. If you got your legs nice that's more important. If you got good legs then whatever happens in a fight, you'll still be standing."
2: "Yeah"
The Trap in 2009
Whilst working as a Librarian at the University of Muri, Benjamin neglected his duties and spent too much time daydreaming. He regularly got into trouble with his boss, Professor Schicht. Benjamin loved his office which looked out onto a grassy knoll where staff and students would gather, oblivious to Walter's presence. He would regularly overhear private conversations and, as with everything else, Walter would collect them:-
Today there were 5 tramps on the benches. They had a couple of 2 litre bottles of Cider and alot of roll up cigs. Almost all of the following dialogue was delivered in a loud, and slurred, shout. Often there were several of them shouting at once. Conversation did not move from one point to another smoothly, indeed, calling it conversation is probably an exaggeration. Eventually i called Security and had them moved on, as they were anoying me.
Tramp No 1: "I'm not God love, you know what i mean? Yeah, Rocking round the fucking bend. Give us a smoke bitch."
Woman Tramp: "Are you shouting at me again. Gotta fucking bugger you up. I had two and he gone got......i want justice."
Tramp No 1: "That's Rockie Marciano, that's Rockie Marciano. Cheers Buddy. You, Hey You, I'm Jesus, Yeeha, I'm Jesus"
Woman Tramp: "Listen to this, smashed that..little head into pieces, into shreds. Sat there like this with a fucking gash round his head. He's not telling you about that is he?"
Tramp No 1: "Gerry's wife, don't even take the piss out of her. don't do that man. No. Rewind, rewind. Ha, Rewind. Why did Jesus walk on water? Why Why Why Why Why? Why did he walk on water? Why Why Why?"
Tramp No. 2: "What does it mean, atheist?"
Tramp No.1: "Dont believe in god, innit."
Today there were 5 tramps on the benches. They had a couple of 2 litre bottles of Cider and alot of roll up cigs. Almost all of the following dialogue was delivered in a loud, and slurred, shout. Often there were several of them shouting at once. Conversation did not move from one point to another smoothly, indeed, calling it conversation is probably an exaggeration. Eventually i called Security and had them moved on, as they were anoying me.
Tramp No 1: "I'm not God love, you know what i mean? Yeah, Rocking round the fucking bend. Give us a smoke bitch."
Woman Tramp: "Are you shouting at me again. Gotta fucking bugger you up. I had two and he gone got......i want justice."
Tramp No 1: "That's Rockie Marciano, that's Rockie Marciano. Cheers Buddy. You, Hey You, I'm Jesus, Yeeha, I'm Jesus"
Woman Tramp: "Listen to this, smashed that..little head into pieces, into shreds. Sat there like this with a fucking gash round his head. He's not telling you about that is he?"
Tramp No 1: "Gerry's wife, don't even take the piss out of her. don't do that man. No. Rewind, rewind. Ha, Rewind. Why did Jesus walk on water? Why Why Why Why Why? Why did he walk on water? Why Why Why?"
Tramp No. 2: "What does it mean, atheist?"
Tramp No.1: "Dont believe in god, innit."
Friday, 17 April 2009
Thursday, 16 April 2009
Walter Benjamin Gardens
Barcelona, Walter Benjamin Gardens
Walk down Paral.lel towards the commercial port and look right as you reach the roundabout. There, you should see a massive wall glimmering behind the green turf, pines and palm trees.
The Walter Benjamin Gardens welcomes wanderers and is a small breath of fresh air in the city that is often claustrophobic. The aforementioned wall is hard to miss: colors burst in waves resembling a giant comic book displayed before your eyes. Wiggling through a small park in direction to the Poble Sec, this concrete color palate never fails to amuse in artistry expertise and diversity.
Read more: http://barcelona.unlike.net/locations/303214-Jardins-Walter-Benjamin#ixzz0CsPW1tRx&B
The Trap in 2009
Whilst working as a Librarian at the University of Muri, Benjamin neglected his duties and spent too much time daydreaming. He regularly got into trouble with his boss, Professor Schicht. Benjamin loved his office which looked out onto a grassy knoll where staff and students would gather, oblivious to Walter's presence. He would regularly overhear private conversations and, as with everything else, Walter would collect them:-
Two Asian gentlemen in their 30's and 40's, who work at the University, are discussing 9/11 and the collapse of the Twin Towers:-
Mr A: "Buildings don't collapse for no reason. They don't just go down just like that."
Mr B: "You mean the way it collapsed?"
Mr A: "Yeah, even with a plane flown into them, they don't just fall down. The way it came down, like all in on itself. It was a demolition. It was an organised demolition. That's why all the Jews didn't go to work on that day. They were told to have the day off. They knew and they were told to have the day off."
Mr B: "Right"
Mr A: "The guy who owns that building is called Goldstein, and the week before 9/11 he took out a new billion dollar insurance policy on the building, the twin towers. It was an organised demolition, to get the insurance money, but of course, you know, they had to make it look like an accident otherwise they wouldn't get the money."
Mr B: "Right"
Mr A: "And the other bit, the bit of the building in the middle, between the two towers, that also collapsed. There's no reason for that one to collapse there was no plane flown into that, it collapsed for no reason. It's only 7 stories high but it was also totally destroyed."
Mr B: "Right, Yeah"
Mr A: "And this Goldstein guy, he was heard on a tape to be saying "Go on, release it, let it come down"
Mr B: "Really? Wow. Was that during the collapse of the building, like just before it came down or something?"
Mr A: "Er, I don't know, he was just recorded on a tape saying that, I heard it, maybe at the time, yeah."
Two Asian gentlemen in their 30's and 40's, who work at the University, are discussing 9/11 and the collapse of the Twin Towers:-
Mr A: "Buildings don't collapse for no reason. They don't just go down just like that."
Mr B: "You mean the way it collapsed?"
Mr A: "Yeah, even with a plane flown into them, they don't just fall down. The way it came down, like all in on itself. It was a demolition. It was an organised demolition. That's why all the Jews didn't go to work on that day. They were told to have the day off. They knew and they were told to have the day off."
Mr B: "Right"
Mr A: "The guy who owns that building is called Goldstein, and the week before 9/11 he took out a new billion dollar insurance policy on the building, the twin towers. It was an organised demolition, to get the insurance money, but of course, you know, they had to make it look like an accident otherwise they wouldn't get the money."
Mr B: "Right"
Mr A: "And the other bit, the bit of the building in the middle, between the two towers, that also collapsed. There's no reason for that one to collapse there was no plane flown into that, it collapsed for no reason. It's only 7 stories high but it was also totally destroyed."
Mr B: "Right, Yeah"
Mr A: "And this Goldstein guy, he was heard on a tape to be saying "Go on, release it, let it come down"
Mr B: "Really? Wow. Was that during the collapse of the building, like just before it came down or something?"
Mr A: "Er, I don't know, he was just recorded on a tape saying that, I heard it, maybe at the time, yeah."
The Trap in 2009
Whilst working as a Librarian at the University of Muri, Benjamin neglected his duties and spent too much time daydreaming. He regularly got into trouble with his boss, Professor Schicht. Benjamin loved his office which looked out onto a grassy knoll where staff and students would gather, oblivious to Walter's presence. He would regularly overhear private conversations and, as with everything else, Walter would collect them:-
Two office workers from the university: A blonde white young woman and an Asian man of about the same age:-
(unclear talk)
Woman: What if the woman's bald under all of it?
Man: Ha, well, i dont think too many women are bald
Woman: But what if she was, you got married and finally got all that outfit off her and she's bald underneath. Wouldn't you be disappointed?
Man: Well, I've never really heard of that happening
Woman: Ha, oh well
Man: You know, underneath all that they're naked. Underneath that black suit they've got nothing on
Woman: Wow, really? Mind you i think its more attractive when you are covered up. Its more intriguing
Man: Yeah, it makes you curious. Yeah, the Western world...(unclear)
Woman: Yeah, who's bothered anyway? Who's bothered if you're wearing a skirt or not? Who cares?
Man: Yeah
Two office workers from the university: A blonde white young woman and an Asian man of about the same age:-
(unclear talk)
Woman: What if the woman's bald under all of it?
Man: Ha, well, i dont think too many women are bald
Woman: But what if she was, you got married and finally got all that outfit off her and she's bald underneath. Wouldn't you be disappointed?
Man: Well, I've never really heard of that happening
Woman: Ha, oh well
Man: You know, underneath all that they're naked. Underneath that black suit they've got nothing on
Woman: Wow, really? Mind you i think its more attractive when you are covered up. Its more intriguing
Man: Yeah, it makes you curious. Yeah, the Western world...(unclear)
Woman: Yeah, who's bothered anyway? Who's bothered if you're wearing a skirt or not? Who cares?
Man: Yeah
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
Benjamin on Writing
Of all the ways of acquiring books, writing them oneself is regarded as the most praiseworthy method. [...] Writers are really people who write books not because they are poor, but because they are dissatisfied with the books which they could buy but do not like.
Unpacking my Library: A Talk About Book Collecting (1931)
Unpacking my Library: A Talk About Book Collecting (1931)
The Trap in 2006
Whilst working as a Librarian at the University of Muri, Benjamin neglected his duties and spent too much time daydreaming. He regularly got into trouble with his boss, Professor Schicht. Benjamin loved his office which looked out onto a grassy knoll where staff and students would gather, oblivious to Walter's presence. He would regularly overhear private conversations and, as with everything else, Walter would collect them:-
Overheard conversation No.2:-
LadA: "You know, I've never really had a best mate."
LadB: "Really? But you always seem to have lots of friends."
LadA: "Yeah, I do. I've got lots of mates and wherever I go I've always got lots of friends, but I've never had a best mate. You know; a Best Mate."
LadB: "Right"
LadA: "Yeah, someone you do everything with, you know. I've just never had one."
LadB thinks for a few seconds and then says : "Maybe its just not in your nature."
LadA also thinks for a few seconds: "Yeah, that's it, its just not in my nature. Hmmmm, yeah, its just not in my character to have a best mate."
Overheard conversation No.2:-
LadA: "You know, I've never really had a best mate."
LadB: "Really? But you always seem to have lots of friends."
LadA: "Yeah, I do. I've got lots of mates and wherever I go I've always got lots of friends, but I've never had a best mate. You know; a Best Mate."
LadB: "Right"
LadA: "Yeah, someone you do everything with, you know. I've just never had one."
LadB thinks for a few seconds and then says : "Maybe its just not in your nature."
LadA also thinks for a few seconds: "Yeah, that's it, its just not in my nature. Hmmmm, yeah, its just not in my character to have a best mate."
The Trap in 1996
Whilst working as a Librarian at the University of Muri, Benjamin neglected his duties and spent too much time daydreaming. He regularly got into trouble with his boss, Professor Schicht. Benjamin loved his office which looked out onto a grassy knoll where staff and students would gather, oblivious to Walter's presence. He would regularly overhear private conversations and, as with everything else, Walter would collect them:-
Overheard conversation No.1.
One boy and two girls talking:
Boy:- “Why’d you do that?”
Girl – “What”
B – “You know what you did”
G – “What?
B – “Well what did you do? It was a perfectly ordinary conversation and what did you go and do?
G – Nothing
B- In a totally normal conversation what did you have to go and do?
G – “I don’t know
B – “You do know, what did you do?
G – “I don’t know
B - “”What did you do?
long pause
G – “I did some dance moves”
All Laugh
Overheard conversation No.1.
One boy and two girls talking:
Boy:- “Why’d you do that?”
Girl – “What”
B – “You know what you did”
G – “What?
B – “Well what did you do? It was a perfectly ordinary conversation and what did you go and do?
G – Nothing
B- In a totally normal conversation what did you have to go and do?
G – “I don’t know
B – “You do know, what did you do?
G – “I don’t know
B - “”What did you do?
long pause
G – “I did some dance moves”
All Laugh
Tuesday, 14 April 2009
From Benjamin's Diary...continued
I guess, in my heart, ever since I was a child I’ve always thought that I was Satan. I think we all do a bit, or maybe other people think they might be Jesus or something, but for me it’s always been Satan. I don’t really know why I would be Satan; I’ve never really done anything particularly bad; I guess I’m a bad Satan. Anyway, animals generally react badly to me, I don’t know, they say that animals can detect things humans can't so I’ve always thought that they can smell the rottenness of my soul.
So anyway, the minute I walked into Dora's parent’s home for the first time, Dora's sweet little kitten of a cat, Kiki, went mental and started trying to claw at me, actually running after me to try to scratch me.
As the week went on I managed to stay away from the cat; I’m vegetarian out of a hatred of animals anyway, so didn’t want to go near the thing. Sure, she managed to claw me a few times, but nothing serious. The parents, Dora, and me too, all just laughed about how much Kiki seemed to hate me.
And so it came to the last day, with only an afternoon to go before we left. We had been out for breakfast at a local street cafe and came home to pack and get prepared. The girls were in Dora's room, I was in my room and Dad was in the living room. It was another perfect opportunity. I walked into the living room and sat down. Dad was reading a church magazine. I spoke, “Not long now. I’ve had a really lovely time, thanks to you and your wife........Err, I wanted to...”
At that moment Kiki jumped up on the Sofa next to me and clawed at my wrist. She actually drew blood.
Dora's Dad (in a deadly serious tone): “They can tell things that we can’t”
Me: “Yes”
Dad: “They are more sensitive to spirits and feelings than humans. They can spot things we cannot.”
Ah, what could I do? I’m pretty sure he was only joking, but the implication seemed to be that he now thought there was something not quite right about me, something spiritually wrong with me. He wasn’t quite sure what it was, but the cat could sense it. How could I ask now? How could I feel that he would say 'yes' when he seemed to suspect that there was something just wrong about me? Did he too suspect that i might be Satan? He's a Christian; he's not going to let his daughter marry Satan.
And so I went back to my room and finished packing.
To be continued………
So anyway, the minute I walked into Dora's parent’s home for the first time, Dora's sweet little kitten of a cat, Kiki, went mental and started trying to claw at me, actually running after me to try to scratch me.
As the week went on I managed to stay away from the cat; I’m vegetarian out of a hatred of animals anyway, so didn’t want to go near the thing. Sure, she managed to claw me a few times, but nothing serious. The parents, Dora, and me too, all just laughed about how much Kiki seemed to hate me.
And so it came to the last day, with only an afternoon to go before we left. We had been out for breakfast at a local street cafe and came home to pack and get prepared. The girls were in Dora's room, I was in my room and Dad was in the living room. It was another perfect opportunity. I walked into the living room and sat down. Dad was reading a church magazine. I spoke, “Not long now. I’ve had a really lovely time, thanks to you and your wife........Err, I wanted to...”
At that moment Kiki jumped up on the Sofa next to me and clawed at my wrist. She actually drew blood.
Dora's Dad (in a deadly serious tone): “They can tell things that we can’t”
Me: “Yes”
Dad: “They are more sensitive to spirits and feelings than humans. They can spot things we cannot.”
Ah, what could I do? I’m pretty sure he was only joking, but the implication seemed to be that he now thought there was something not quite right about me, something spiritually wrong with me. He wasn’t quite sure what it was, but the cat could sense it. How could I ask now? How could I feel that he would say 'yes' when he seemed to suspect that there was something just wrong about me? Did he too suspect that i might be Satan? He's a Christian; he's not going to let his daughter marry Satan.
And so I went back to my room and finished packing.
To be continued………
Sunday, 12 April 2009
From Benjamin's Diary...continued
On the night before we were to travel back home, Dora's Dad wanted to take us out to a concert in the memorial hall. Brilliant, I thought, it’s a lovely building and it’ll be nice to see the concert hall. Hopefully, afterwards I'll get a chance to get Dora's Dad on his own, it’s my last chance.
The concert was by some Christian, American Born Chinese (ABC’s) and was a concert of Christian songs (remember that the parents are strong Christians). We had a lovely meal in a nearby Cafe and then all headed over to the concert. It was really crowded, Wow, I think, this should be good.
Within 2 minutes of it starting I realise I’m in an Evangelical Praise Concert; everyone stood up, with their hands in the air, and shouting out Hallelujah, as the band whip the crowd up into a frenzy of Jesus praise.
Not really a joiner inner, I found various ways of tricking myself into enjoying myself:
I said to myself, Ah, they all like it, just join in a bit, enjoy it, it doesn’t matter;
I told myself, your going to ask her father for her hand later, make him happy, look as if you are enjoying yourself;
I used the obvious one and told myself I was a spy, getting the inside skinny.
Anyway, I was getting through it and even making eye contact with Dora's Dad from time to time as I clapped along to songs about how great a lamb Jesus was.
And then one of the ABC’s started to tell a story about how she had cured a disabled African guy. She told of how Jesus told her to go to Africa to cure the sick and how, whilst there, a man who had been born with a twisted, crippled arm, asked for her help. She laid her hands on him, and Jesus told her to pull. She pulled but his arm only went half way. He looked at her, afraid and shocked; she looked back at him, also shocked. She said to god “Come on god, don’t joke around with me, if you are going to let me heal this man, let me heal him totally, not half heal him” and she laughed as she told this,
and the audience laughed too,
and Dora's Mum laughed,
and Dora's Dad laughed.
I did not laugh.
Sure enough she pulled the African mans arm again and he was fully cured. His arm which had never worked, was now fully healed. “Africa is a land of Miracles” she told the audience.
Much as I had wanted to join in, wanted to go with the flow, this story was just too much for me, I didn’t join in anymore, I didn’t smile at dad any more and I didn’t ask for his daughters hand in marriage when I got a perfect opportunity later that evening. I was a fool and let this story cloud my mind; I let my perfect opportunity slide past and went to bed.
Ah, but the story does not end there, there were still a few hours the next day before we had to go……there was still a chance...…To be continued
The concert was by some Christian, American Born Chinese (ABC’s) and was a concert of Christian songs (remember that the parents are strong Christians). We had a lovely meal in a nearby Cafe and then all headed over to the concert. It was really crowded, Wow, I think, this should be good.
Within 2 minutes of it starting I realise I’m in an Evangelical Praise Concert; everyone stood up, with their hands in the air, and shouting out Hallelujah, as the band whip the crowd up into a frenzy of Jesus praise.
Not really a joiner inner, I found various ways of tricking myself into enjoying myself:
I said to myself, Ah, they all like it, just join in a bit, enjoy it, it doesn’t matter;
I told myself, your going to ask her father for her hand later, make him happy, look as if you are enjoying yourself;
I used the obvious one and told myself I was a spy, getting the inside skinny.
Anyway, I was getting through it and even making eye contact with Dora's Dad from time to time as I clapped along to songs about how great a lamb Jesus was.
And then one of the ABC’s started to tell a story about how she had cured a disabled African guy. She told of how Jesus told her to go to Africa to cure the sick and how, whilst there, a man who had been born with a twisted, crippled arm, asked for her help. She laid her hands on him, and Jesus told her to pull. She pulled but his arm only went half way. He looked at her, afraid and shocked; she looked back at him, also shocked. She said to god “Come on god, don’t joke around with me, if you are going to let me heal this man, let me heal him totally, not half heal him” and she laughed as she told this,
and the audience laughed too,
and Dora's Mum laughed,
and Dora's Dad laughed.
I did not laugh.
Sure enough she pulled the African mans arm again and he was fully cured. His arm which had never worked, was now fully healed. “Africa is a land of Miracles” she told the audience.
Much as I had wanted to join in, wanted to go with the flow, this story was just too much for me, I didn’t join in anymore, I didn’t smile at dad any more and I didn’t ask for his daughters hand in marriage when I got a perfect opportunity later that evening. I was a fool and let this story cloud my mind; I let my perfect opportunity slide past and went to bed.
Ah, but the story does not end there, there were still a few hours the next day before we had to go……there was still a chance...…To be continued
Saturday, 11 April 2009
From Benjamin's Diary
"Having plucked up the courage to ask her father for her hand yesterday, events conspired to foul up my plans, but the very next day i woke up with new found resolve.
After a busy day sightseeing we all had dinner together and the two girls went to another room to talk about packing. Seeing my opportunity to get Dad alone and have a man to man chat with him, I went to the toilet for a quick wee (don't wanna get into a big marriage conversation needing to urinate), and to psyche myself up abit. Employing the Stockovian technique of Bigging Myself Up which goes, "I can, I can't, I can, I can't, I can, I can't, I CAN", I burst out of that toilet as ready to ask for a girls hand in marriage, as any man has ever been.
I marched back into the living room, (where Dad had been looking through his albums when i left), and sat myself down on the sofa. Just as i was about to speak, Dora's Dad, (having found the album he was looking for and put it onto the machine), spoke; "This is the music from my Mother-in- Law's funeral."
"Oh, really, that's nice. Er I want to..."
"She asked for three pieces to be played at her funeral and this one was her favourite."
"Right"
We sit in silence, listening to the music.
I think to myself, "There's no way i can ask for a girls hand whilst listening to her Grandma's funeral music, that's gotta be bad luck.
We sit for a little while longer, just listening to the music.
"Very beautiful" I say.
Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll do it........
To be continued
After a busy day sightseeing we all had dinner together and the two girls went to another room to talk about packing. Seeing my opportunity to get Dad alone and have a man to man chat with him, I went to the toilet for a quick wee (don't wanna get into a big marriage conversation needing to urinate), and to psyche myself up abit. Employing the Stockovian technique of Bigging Myself Up which goes, "I can, I can't, I can, I can't, I can, I can't, I CAN", I burst out of that toilet as ready to ask for a girls hand in marriage, as any man has ever been.
I marched back into the living room, (where Dad had been looking through his albums when i left), and sat myself down on the sofa. Just as i was about to speak, Dora's Dad, (having found the album he was looking for and put it onto the machine), spoke; "This is the music from my Mother-in- Law's funeral."
"Oh, really, that's nice. Er I want to..."
"She asked for three pieces to be played at her funeral and this one was her favourite."
"Right"
We sit in silence, listening to the music.
I think to myself, "There's no way i can ask for a girls hand whilst listening to her Grandma's funeral music, that's gotta be bad luck.
We sit for a little while longer, just listening to the music.
"Very beautiful" I say.
Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll do it........
To be continued
From Benjamin's Diary
In Bern, at the University, Benjamin met Dora Kellner and they fell in love. He travelled to her parent's home to ask for her hand in marriage:-
"I had a mind to asking Dora's parents if they would mind if we got married at some point in the future (they having been initially opposed to the idea of their daughter going out with an older none-Christian).
Things all went very well, with me managing to charm them/pull the wool over their eyes, depending on your point of view. Things had gone so well in fact that they let it be known that they approved of me as a boyfriend. By the second week I resolved that as soon as i got Dora's father alone i would ask him for his daughters hand in marriage.
Opportunities were not forthcoming and with only 3 days of the holiday left i had still not found the right occasion. And then we all climbed a nearby mountain together.
The four of us got up early and went up the mountain before the sun had a chance to get too hot. Now, i sweat rather easily and even though it was only 9am, already the temperature was starting to get quite high.
We got half-way up the mountain and the girls wanted to turn back as we were all starting to sweat profusely, but i could see the top from where we were and couldn't resist but try to climb all the way. Dora's father agreed to go with me (i think he was worried I'd get lost) so us two boys set off together, in what was becoming intense heat.
As we were climbing up, it occurred to me that this was finally an opportunity to get him on his own and have a proper man to man chat. I thought, i 'll wait till we get the top, it'll be great, it'll be a great view and a really significant and romantic place to make such a big gesture. It's getting really hot and we are both sweating a lot.
Finally we reach the top and wipe the sweat from our brows and enjoy the remarkable view. I steal myself and say "Father , can i ask you something?", he turns to look at me and as he is looking at me, his eyes move down to my crotch area. I also look down to see what he is looking at; i have sweated so much that my beige shorts are drenched with sweat in a big piss stain pattern. I am soaking wet between the legs and the beige has changed to a dark brown in what really looks like pant piss. Dora's father looks up at my face and says "It is very hot i think". "Er, yeah". "You wanted to say something?". I think to myself, can i ask him for his daughters hand in marriage when I'm standing here having virtually pissed my pants? "Er, nothing, i just wanted to say thanks for bringing me here, the view is amazing".
Tomorrow, i think, I'll do it tomorrow............to be continued..........
"I had a mind to asking Dora's parents if they would mind if we got married at some point in the future (they having been initially opposed to the idea of their daughter going out with an older none-Christian).
Things all went very well, with me managing to charm them/pull the wool over their eyes, depending on your point of view. Things had gone so well in fact that they let it be known that they approved of me as a boyfriend. By the second week I resolved that as soon as i got Dora's father alone i would ask him for his daughters hand in marriage.
Opportunities were not forthcoming and with only 3 days of the holiday left i had still not found the right occasion. And then we all climbed a nearby mountain together.
The four of us got up early and went up the mountain before the sun had a chance to get too hot. Now, i sweat rather easily and even though it was only 9am, already the temperature was starting to get quite high.
We got half-way up the mountain and the girls wanted to turn back as we were all starting to sweat profusely, but i could see the top from where we were and couldn't resist but try to climb all the way. Dora's father agreed to go with me (i think he was worried I'd get lost) so us two boys set off together, in what was becoming intense heat.
As we were climbing up, it occurred to me that this was finally an opportunity to get him on his own and have a proper man to man chat. I thought, i 'll wait till we get the top, it'll be great, it'll be a great view and a really significant and romantic place to make such a big gesture. It's getting really hot and we are both sweating a lot.
Finally we reach the top and wipe the sweat from our brows and enjoy the remarkable view. I steal myself and say "Father , can i ask you something?", he turns to look at me and as he is looking at me, his eyes move down to my crotch area. I also look down to see what he is looking at; i have sweated so much that my beige shorts are drenched with sweat in a big piss stain pattern. I am soaking wet between the legs and the beige has changed to a dark brown in what really looks like pant piss. Dora's father looks up at my face and says "It is very hot i think". "Er, yeah". "You wanted to say something?". I think to myself, can i ask him for his daughters hand in marriage when I'm standing here having virtually pissed my pants? "Er, nothing, i just wanted to say thanks for bringing me here, the view is amazing".
Tomorrow, i think, I'll do it tomorrow............to be continued..........
Friday, 10 April 2009
Room 101
Something TheLeedsArcadesProjects gets asked quite often is, What is usage of Room 101 like?
Always happy to help, we've provided some stats
ROOM C101, ULC REPORT
Room C101 is the University Language Centre (ULC), Self Access Centre, located in the Link Block, Richmond Building. Room 101 has a high student and staff footfall.
Usage this year has been very high, the highest in over 10 years. We have successfully managed to attract a large number of English learners thanks to an investment in our English resources and a number of English language support initiatives, which have complemented the teaching of the department and added to the friendly, international feel of the centre.
Room 101 aims to provide a friendly, holistic area for study, cross-cultural interaction, English support and language learning. We hope we have come some way towards achieving this. We organize cross-cultural social events, extra English language support and provide extensive resources. Room 101 hosts IELTS speaking practice, ULC/LDU English Clinics, English Debating Society, ULC Drop-in sessions for home and International students, Management Effective Learning sessions, and Language Exchange.
Lets begin this report with a few recent comments from the Develop Me discussion forum and then move on to some statistics of usage. Feedback & Responses from DEVELOP ME webpage. Topic: How do you want to learn? Topic started by Becka Currant:
“I think C101 is the best place to study, especially to learn foreign languages. I myself am an International student and am concern about my English skills. In C101, there are a lot of materials about languages such as books, CDs and TVs! So we can use these materials and study whenever we want. To do so, I think I improve my English little by little.
Also, the language centre has nice atmosphere and nice people. It’s not difficult to discuss something in C101 because there are always some students there. I’m not good at discussion in English, but its great practice for me. Thus, I think C101 is the best place!” (International Student, 2009)
“When I think about wherever I can have a piece of quiet to write my assignment, I really love to go C101 because I have always feel comfortable and cozy for this place. The staff was really friendly and people who stay there were generally nice. The place are usually popular, and full of people when I went there, yet students really respect this place, like everyone has sort of sense that we really cherish this place and want to create C101 as the best place of the university!!! We love C101~~” (International Student, 2008)
“Well..... I think C101 is the best place to study. It's very cozy and quiet, so you can concentrate on reading a book and of course enjoy watching a DVD with sitting on a comfortable chair. In my case, I reckon I have been improving English in C101 because I can have a discussion with friendly classmates every Wednesday. Especially on Friday, the surrounding mood is quite warm and enjoyable.” (International Student, 2008)
“When I first came to Bradford I thought it was so horrible. After two weeks I was very serious about going home. It was only coming to C101 everyday that kept me going.” (Pre-sessional English Course, International Student, email, 2007)
New Room 101 English Support Initiatives
After the success of English Discussion Group over the last year and a half, we initiated IELTS Speaking Practice Sessions which have also been popular, to the extent that we have recently made them twice a week.
Tuesday 12.00-13.00 IELTS Speaking practice session
Tuesday 13.00-14.00 English Skills Clinic (Initiated by LDU, now ULC)
Wednesday 16.00-18.00 English Debating Society
Thursday 12.00-13.00 IELTS Speaking practice session
Friday 14.00-17.00 English Film Club + discussion afterwards/ English Skills Sessions (booking required)
Other initiatives are Daily paper review 9.30-10.00am, when students are encouraged to come along and talk about the issues of the day.
We have also set aside time on a Friday afternoon for an extra English Skills Clinic.
Usage Analysis of Room 101
This is a survey of C101 Usage over a one week period.
Each person was counted only once per day, although the majority of people enter the room several times in the course of the day.
ULC Staff, who regularly use the room, were NOT included in the figures.
Figures were compiled the week of 2nd Feb 2009 – 6th Feb 2009. This week was chosen as a typical week (not the start of term, not the end of term), although the extreme weather during this week may have affected usage.
Average length of stay: 2 Hours (Some people come in repeatedly, spending up to 3-4 + hours here, others pop in for half an hour to catch some news headlines, some stay literally all day.)
C101 Usage over a one week period.
In this week we had two visits from local schools of 25 students. These groups were NOT included in the figures as they do not occur every week.
Semester 2 of 2008/9 sees Monday our busiest day. This is unusual as Tuesday and Thursday have traditionally been our busiest days. This was certainly the case in Semester 1 of 2008/9.
Friday is clearly our least busy day, yet on that day the students who do use the centre, do tend to use it for longer, with the length of usage on that day being dramatically higher. Clearly however we could work harder to attract more usage on that day. I suspect timetabling and cultural/religious issues might be at play here.
Usage by School
Whilst it appears that usage is spread more evenly than expected across departments, it is important to consider length of time spent in the room. For example, SLED IELTS students are far more likely to spend a great deal of time in the room, coming in several times in the course of the day and staying for longer. Interestingly, students of Peace Studies attending English Support Classes seem to be disproportionately high users of the centre. Management students who attended Pre-sessional Summer Schools also continue to use the room long after their course with the ULC has finished, and are disproportionately high users.
Usage: PG/UG
C101 has high usage by PG students (for the purposes of this report I have designated SLED IELTS students, who are one of our main user groups, as PG).
PG and UG students, in general, stay in the room for roughly the same length of time.
‘Others’ here are wives and husbands of students, or Uni staff using the room for their own language learning (as opposed to ULC teaching staff who are not included in the figures), or students on the English course for cleaners .
Usage: International/Home
The majority of users are International students. International and Home students in general stay in the room for roughly the same length of time.
Usage by Activity
Eng Resources – Book, CD, Software 24%
General Computer use 11%
TV/ Film/ Doc 10%
Newspapers/Mags 11%
Group Work 8%
C101 English Support Activities 11%
C101 Original Materials 11%
ULC Drop-ins 6%
Language Exchange 4%
Other Languages 4%
Main Activities in Room 101
English Resources – Our collection of English learning books and CD’s, Computer software, CD-Rom’s, DVD’s, etc.
C101 English Support Activities – English Debating Society, IELTS Speaking Test Practice Sessions, LDU/ULC English Skills Clinics, and other initiatives.
Reading Newspapers/ Magazines – C101 has an extensive collection of newspapers and magazines, and students are encouraged to talk about what they read with C101 staff.
General Computer use – Students writing essays, Blackboard, emails, etc.
TV – TV, including several English channels, Films, Language learning vids, documentaries, History documentary collection, Terrorism collection, etc.
Group work – We have opened the rooms off C101 to students for group work, this has been surprisingly popular.
C101 created resources – C101 staff produce their own, mostly English, learning resources.
ULC Drop-in’s – Drop-in sessions with ULC staff for Home and International Students. Very popular, always booked up.
Language Exchange – Another C101 initiative; learning by language exchange. Staff, students, members of the public, all are involved.
Other Languages – Languages for All coursework is kept here and used widely.
Summary
• C101 has successfully reinvented itself, primarily as an English support resource, supporting ULC Courses, ULC English support classes and more widely.
• C101 Support Initiatives have been successful and have been expanded accordingly.
• Students feel passionately about C101 and have a strong connection with the place. It is seen as safe, friendly and international.
• The geographic location works well with a high student footfall and an ease of access which compliments the relaxed feel.
• Usage is spread across the whole university.
• International and PG students are highest users.
• The combination of various multimedia resources (with equipment to use them), coupled with extra support activities, is extremely beneficial for language support.
• A further investment in resources (particularly books/CD’s, software and some hardware) would be guaranteed to be well used.
Always happy to help, we've provided some stats
ROOM C101, ULC REPORT
Room C101 is the University Language Centre (ULC), Self Access Centre, located in the Link Block, Richmond Building. Room 101 has a high student and staff footfall.
Usage this year has been very high, the highest in over 10 years. We have successfully managed to attract a large number of English learners thanks to an investment in our English resources and a number of English language support initiatives, which have complemented the teaching of the department and added to the friendly, international feel of the centre.
Room 101 aims to provide a friendly, holistic area for study, cross-cultural interaction, English support and language learning. We hope we have come some way towards achieving this. We organize cross-cultural social events, extra English language support and provide extensive resources. Room 101 hosts IELTS speaking practice, ULC/LDU English Clinics, English Debating Society, ULC Drop-in sessions for home and International students, Management Effective Learning sessions, and Language Exchange.
Lets begin this report with a few recent comments from the Develop Me discussion forum and then move on to some statistics of usage. Feedback & Responses from DEVELOP ME webpage. Topic: How do you want to learn? Topic started by Becka Currant:
“I think C101 is the best place to study, especially to learn foreign languages. I myself am an International student and am concern about my English skills. In C101, there are a lot of materials about languages such as books, CDs and TVs! So we can use these materials and study whenever we want. To do so, I think I improve my English little by little.
Also, the language centre has nice atmosphere and nice people. It’s not difficult to discuss something in C101 because there are always some students there. I’m not good at discussion in English, but its great practice for me. Thus, I think C101 is the best place!” (International Student, 2009)
“When I think about wherever I can have a piece of quiet to write my assignment, I really love to go C101 because I have always feel comfortable and cozy for this place. The staff was really friendly and people who stay there were generally nice. The place are usually popular, and full of people when I went there, yet students really respect this place, like everyone has sort of sense that we really cherish this place and want to create C101 as the best place of the university!!! We love C101~~” (International Student, 2008)
“Well..... I think C101 is the best place to study. It's very cozy and quiet, so you can concentrate on reading a book and of course enjoy watching a DVD with sitting on a comfortable chair. In my case, I reckon I have been improving English in C101 because I can have a discussion with friendly classmates every Wednesday. Especially on Friday, the surrounding mood is quite warm and enjoyable.” (International Student, 2008)
“When I first came to Bradford I thought it was so horrible. After two weeks I was very serious about going home. It was only coming to C101 everyday that kept me going.” (Pre-sessional English Course, International Student, email, 2007)
New Room 101 English Support Initiatives
After the success of English Discussion Group over the last year and a half, we initiated IELTS Speaking Practice Sessions which have also been popular, to the extent that we have recently made them twice a week.
Tuesday 12.00-13.00 IELTS Speaking practice session
Tuesday 13.00-14.00 English Skills Clinic (Initiated by LDU, now ULC)
Wednesday 16.00-18.00 English Debating Society
Thursday 12.00-13.00 IELTS Speaking practice session
Friday 14.00-17.00 English Film Club + discussion afterwards/ English Skills Sessions (booking required)
Other initiatives are Daily paper review 9.30-10.00am, when students are encouraged to come along and talk about the issues of the day.
We have also set aside time on a Friday afternoon for an extra English Skills Clinic.
Usage Analysis of Room 101
This is a survey of C101 Usage over a one week period.
Each person was counted only once per day, although the majority of people enter the room several times in the course of the day.
ULC Staff, who regularly use the room, were NOT included in the figures.
Figures were compiled the week of 2nd Feb 2009 – 6th Feb 2009. This week was chosen as a typical week (not the start of term, not the end of term), although the extreme weather during this week may have affected usage.
Average length of stay: 2 Hours (Some people come in repeatedly, spending up to 3-4 + hours here, others pop in for half an hour to catch some news headlines, some stay literally all day.)
C101 Usage over a one week period.
In this week we had two visits from local schools of 25 students. These groups were NOT included in the figures as they do not occur every week.
Semester 2 of 2008/9 sees Monday our busiest day. This is unusual as Tuesday and Thursday have traditionally been our busiest days. This was certainly the case in Semester 1 of 2008/9.
Friday is clearly our least busy day, yet on that day the students who do use the centre, do tend to use it for longer, with the length of usage on that day being dramatically higher. Clearly however we could work harder to attract more usage on that day. I suspect timetabling and cultural/religious issues might be at play here.
Usage by School
Whilst it appears that usage is spread more evenly than expected across departments, it is important to consider length of time spent in the room. For example, SLED IELTS students are far more likely to spend a great deal of time in the room, coming in several times in the course of the day and staying for longer. Interestingly, students of Peace Studies attending English Support Classes seem to be disproportionately high users of the centre. Management students who attended Pre-sessional Summer Schools also continue to use the room long after their course with the ULC has finished, and are disproportionately high users.
Usage: PG/UG
C101 has high usage by PG students (for the purposes of this report I have designated SLED IELTS students, who are one of our main user groups, as PG).
PG and UG students, in general, stay in the room for roughly the same length of time.
‘Others’ here are wives and husbands of students, or Uni staff using the room for their own language learning (as opposed to ULC teaching staff who are not included in the figures), or students on the English course for cleaners .
Usage: International/Home
The majority of users are International students. International and Home students in general stay in the room for roughly the same length of time.
Usage by Activity
Eng Resources – Book, CD, Software 24%
General Computer use 11%
TV/ Film/ Doc 10%
Newspapers/Mags 11%
Group Work 8%
C101 English Support Activities 11%
C101 Original Materials 11%
ULC Drop-ins 6%
Language Exchange 4%
Other Languages 4%
Main Activities in Room 101
English Resources – Our collection of English learning books and CD’s, Computer software, CD-Rom’s, DVD’s, etc.
C101 English Support Activities – English Debating Society, IELTS Speaking Test Practice Sessions, LDU/ULC English Skills Clinics, and other initiatives.
Reading Newspapers/ Magazines – C101 has an extensive collection of newspapers and magazines, and students are encouraged to talk about what they read with C101 staff.
General Computer use – Students writing essays, Blackboard, emails, etc.
TV – TV, including several English channels, Films, Language learning vids, documentaries, History documentary collection, Terrorism collection, etc.
Group work – We have opened the rooms off C101 to students for group work, this has been surprisingly popular.
C101 created resources – C101 staff produce their own, mostly English, learning resources.
ULC Drop-in’s – Drop-in sessions with ULC staff for Home and International Students. Very popular, always booked up.
Language Exchange – Another C101 initiative; learning by language exchange. Staff, students, members of the public, all are involved.
Other Languages – Languages for All coursework is kept here and used widely.
Summary
• C101 has successfully reinvented itself, primarily as an English support resource, supporting ULC Courses, ULC English support classes and more widely.
• C101 Support Initiatives have been successful and have been expanded accordingly.
• Students feel passionately about C101 and have a strong connection with the place. It is seen as safe, friendly and international.
• The geographic location works well with a high student footfall and an ease of access which compliments the relaxed feel.
• Usage is spread across the whole university.
• International and PG students are highest users.
• The combination of various multimedia resources (with equipment to use them), coupled with extra support activities, is extremely beneficial for language support.
• A further investment in resources (particularly books/CD’s, software and some hardware) would be guaranteed to be well used.
KCOM
One thing TheLeedsArcadesProjects gets asked quite often is for an analysis of the accounts of various telecoms companies. Happy to help, here we have had a look at KCOM:-
EXECUTIVE SUMMARY
KCOM Group PLC is a communications and IT services provider. KCOM’s business is centred on Telecoms & Internet Services (‘T&IS’) and Integration & Managed Services (‘I&MS’).
KCOM’s accounts appear to be professional and transparent; the format looks typical, both for its industry and for other major companies.
KCOM’s profitability, efficiency and liquidity ratios are all below the peer average. They do however, seem to have their borrowing under control and their Gearing Ratio is good.
Returns for investors have been below the industry average.
The T&IS division, and particularly business in the Hull area, has been profitable and is propping up the rest of the company.
KCOM’s results for the last year have resulted in the removal of the CEO and a major structural review in the I&MS division.
The Finance team would recommend investigating other telecoms providers.
INTRODUCTION
This report will analyse the accounts of KCOM group PLC, from the perspective of Muri F.E. College, which is looking to form a mid- to long-term business relationship. The report will examine the profitability, efficiency, liquidity and long-term stability of KCOM using various financial measures. The financial data for KCOM, such as balance sheet, profit and loss accounts, cash flow statement, etc, is based on the 2007/08 Annual Report and Accounts. KCOM's accounts will be compared to those of its major historical competitor, BT, as well as to industry peer group averages. The FAME Database will be used to supply peer group statistics and as a source of bar charts, and other illustrations. KCOM’s Annual Report and Accounts, as well as FAME’s Report and Peer Review for KCOM can be found in the Appendices.
KCOM is a UK based communications and IT services provider. KCOM was formed in 1902, as Kingston Communications, Hull City Council’s telephone system. At that time, many councils ran telephone companies. Over time, most of these council run companies merged, to become British Telecom (BT). Kingston Communications was the exception. KCOM was first listed on the London stock exchange in 1999. In May 2007 Hull City Council finally sold its remaining stock holding.
The KCOM Group consists of Kingston Communications, Affiniti (the Business Integration and Services arm) and Eclipse (Internet Service Provider). KCOM’s two major trading segments are Telecoms & Internet Services (‘T&IS’) and Integration & Managed Services (‘I&MS’). T&IS addresses small and medium businesses across the United Kingdom, benefiting particularly from its market position in East Yorkshire, and particularly Hull. I&MS serves the public sector and larger UK-headquartered businesses (KCOM, 2008).
KCOM is the only T&IS supplier in the Hull area. Although the region is under OFCOM and EU monopoly rules, the Hull market is so small (190,000 homes), that entering the market does not seem economically viable for most companies. A further complication is that the first 1 km of wire from the KCOM exchange has a cross-section of 0.3 mm sq, as opposed to the standard 0.5 mm sq, meaning that there would be additional technical costs for a rival (Wray, 2008).
CRITICAL APPRAISAL OF THE ACCOUNTING POLICIES USED BY KCOM
KCOM’s accounts seem professional enough; the format looks typical, both for its industry and for other major companies. The accounts were audited in accordance with International Standards on Auditing. PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP (PwC), chartered accountants and registered auditors, were the auditors. PwC is the world's largest professional services firm and one of the world’s four biggest auditors. Their involvement should reassure us that the accounts are sound.
There are a few small points to note about the accounting policies. KCOM’s Balance Sheet includes, amongst the Non-current assets, a figure of 193,191,000 for Goodwill. Goodwill is notoriously difficult to quantify. Goodwill here represents amounts arising from the acquisition of subsidiary undertakings. It is the difference between the cost of the acquisition and the assumed value of the assets and liabilities acquired (KCOM, 2008). These figures may well be open to interpretation, and are certainly prone to change.
KCOM’s report uses Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation and Amortization (EBITDA) as one of its primary measures of profitability, in the Financial Highlights section of its report. EBITDA is commonly used, and is given similar importance by BT in their Annual Report. However, according to the Generally Accepted Accounting Principles (GAAP), EBITDA is not a defined measure and thus can be calculated however a company wishes (ICAEW, 2009).
ANALYSIS OF FINANCIAL STATEMENTS
Accounts Summary 2007/8 (KCOM, 2008)
Variable KCOM
Turnover GBP 517,297
Profit (Loss) before Taxation GBP 4,423
Current Liabilities 156,683
Net Tangible Assets (Liab.) GBP 171,904
Total Assets GBP 553,064
Current Assets
156,936
Shareholders Funds GBP 184,685
Current Ratio 1.00
Profit Margin (%) 0.86
Return on Shareholders Funds (%) 2.39
Return on Capital Employed (%) 1.12
Solvency Ratio (%) 33.39
Gearing Ratio (%) 114.91
Table 1 (KCOM, 2008 and FAME, 2009)
Different accounting formulas provide different points of view of a company’s value. This section of the report will use a number of different accounting equations to measure KCOM’s position and performance. This will enable us to assess whether Muri College should go into business with KCOM. Table 1 is an accounts summary taken from the KCOM accounts 2007/8 and the FAME database summary of KCOM’s accounts. Most of the variables used to calculate the accounting ratios are contained in the table. This report will compare KCOM’s performance with a peer group average, and with major competitor British Telecom (BT). The peer group used will be one generated by the FAME database of the ten British telecoms companies nearest to KCOM in terms of Turnover.
PERFORMANCE
Both KCOM and BT use EBITDA as the primary measure of performance in their accounts. BT’s EBITDA before specific items is £5,784 million, up 3% on 2006/7. KCOM’s EBITDA before exceptional items reduced 2.4 per cent to £69.3 million in the same period. We would expect BT to have a bigger EBITDA, as it is a much bigger company. KCOM claims, in its report, that its EBITDA reduction is wholly attributable to the I&MS segment (KCOM, 2008). This reason is reiterated throughout KCOM’s accounts, and is something we will look at in more detail, in the Discussion part of this chapter.
Figure 1 shows that KCOM’s turnover is above average for its peer group, perhaps because KCOM is a comparatively large company. BT’s turnover is higher, although this is to be expected, as BT is bigger.
Figure 1 (FAME, 2009)
KCOM’s profit before tax is £4.4 million, down from £10.6 million in 2007, a drop which KCOM attributes to an increase of £7.0 million in amortisation charges from intangible assets arising from acquisitions (KCOM, 2008).
Profit/(loss) from operations 2008 2007
Integration & Managed Services (9,482) 2,033
Telecoms & Internet Services 37,262 38,858
Information Services 3,529 3,082
Total – continuing activities before exceptional items 31,309 43,973
Table 2. KCOM’s Profit from Operations. (KCOM, 2008)
We can see from Table 2 that I&MS are making operational losses, with other segments propping it up.
Profitability and Efficiency
ROCE (or Prime Ratio)
We need to look at the productivity of all the capital used in KCOM; Return on Capital Employed (ROCE) is a measure of this. ROCE is regarded as a key measure by many businesses. ROCE is a measure of the return on funds employed, as determined by both sales profitability and efficient use of capital. Figure 2 shows that KCOM are dramatically below the industry average for ROCE and have been consistently. Figure 3 shows that they are also substantially lower than rival BT.
ROCE = 100 x Profit before interest & tax
Total assets - current liabilities
Profit = 4,423
Assets= 553,064
Current Liabilities= 156,683
ROCE = (4,423/ 553,064 – 156,683) x 100= 1.12
(In 2007; 10,630/ 527,945 – 138,234 = 2.73)
KCOM have a ROCE of 1.12, (falling from a high of 2.73 in 2007) in comparison to BT’s ROCE of 20.83. Other major competitors within the peer group do have a negative ROCE (THUS -0.96).
ROCE is a key measure of both a company’s profitability and efficiency, and KCOM clearly does not compare favourably with its industry average or its major competitors.
Figure 2 (FAME, 2009)
Figure 3 (FAME, 2009)
Profit margins
Profit Margin = Profit/Sales
Profit = 4,423
Sales = 517,297
Profit Margin = 4,423/517,297 x 100= 0.86
(2007; 10,630/483,120 x 100 = 2.20)
KCOM’s Profit Margin was down this year to 0.86, compared to 2.20 last year. Leading competitor BT has a Profit Margin for the same period, of 6.39%, although some other leading competitors are running negative figures, as can be seen in Figure 4. The Median for the FAME peer group is 1.09, so KCOM is below the average. The Profit Margin is regarded as the best measure of operational performance, as differences in how the business is financed do not affect it (Atrill and McLaney, 2008).
Figure 4 (FAME, 2009)
Return on Shareholders Funds
Profit = 4,423
Share Capital /Shareholders Equity = 184,685
Return on Shareholders Funds = Profit/Shareholders Equity x 100
= 4,423/184,685 x 100 = 2.39%
KCOM’s Return on Shareholders Funds is 2.39%, where BT have a return of 20.83%, and the peer group average is 17.51%. KCOM are well behind competitors in this measure of profitability.
Figure 5 (FAME, 2009)
Return on Total Assets
Figure 6 (FAME, 2009)
Return on Total Assets
Profit = 4,423
Total Assets = 553,064
Return on Total Assets = Profit/Total Assets = 4,423/553,064 x 100 = 0.80%
Figure 6 shows the Return on Total Assets for KCOM and the Peer Group Median from the FAME Database. As far as this measure is concerned, KCOM is once again below the Peer group median, and has been to varying degrees since 2003.
POSITION
Liquidity
Current Ratio
The Current Ratio is a financial ratio that measures whether or not a firm has enough resources to pay its debts over the next 12 months. It compares a firm's current assets to its current liabilities. As potential business partners the Current Ratio is important to us, as it expresses KCOM’s ability find cash quickly, should it need to.
The Current Ratio is expressed as follows:
Current Ratio = Current Assets / Current Liabilities
A Current Ratio of assets to liabilities, of 2:1 is generally considered to be good (i.e. current assets are twice current liabilities). KCOM’s Current Ratio is almost exactly 1.
Current Assets 156,936
Current Liabilities 156, 683
Current Ratio = 156,936/156,683 = 1.0016
(KCOM, 2008)
The Median for the FAME Peer Group is 1.04 and BT has a Current Ratio of 1.27, so once again KCOM is behind its competitors. However, KCOM’s 1, is a respectable value, meaning that assets are equivalent to liabilities.
Figure 7 (FAME, 2009)
Acid Test/Quick Ratio/Liquidity Ratio
Another measure of liquidity is the Quick Ratio or the Liquidity Ratio, which is also known as the Acid Test. This ratio expresses a company's ability to repay short-term creditors out of its total cash. The Liquidity Ratio is the result of dividing the total cash by short-term borrowings. It shows the number of times short-term liabilities are covered by cash. Generally, a good Liquidity Ratio is 1:1 or better, however this varies from industry to industry.
Current Assets 156,936
Inventories 7,699
Current Liabilities 156, 683
(KCOM, 2008)
Quick Ratio = 156,936- 7,699/156,683 = 0.95
Whilst KCOM is not at 1:1, it is not far off and is at least moving in the right direction. KCOM’s Liquidity Ratio increased to 0.95 from 0.86 in 2007 (2006: 0.75). This means that current assets are increasing relative to current liabilities.
Measures of liquidity are important to us as potential partners, as we need to be secure in the knowledge that our business partner will continue in business for the foreseeable future and is able to pay its bills.
Solvency Ratio
The Solvency Ratio is a measure of a company's ability to meet its long-term obligations. The Solvency Ratio measures the size of a company's after-tax income compared to the firm's total debt.
Acceptable Solvency Ratios vary from industry to industry, but generally a ratio higher than 20% is considered healthy. The lower a company's Solvency Ratio, the more likely it is to default on its debts.
KCOM had a Solvency Ratio of 33.39% in 2008, down from 33.64% in 2007 and down from 78.05% in 2000. KCOM’s Solvency Ratio is well above 20%; actually consistently above 30%. It is below the peer group average but higher than rival BT. (Figure 8).
Figure 8 (FAME, 2009)
Gearing (Leverage)
Gearing Ratio = Long Term Liabilities/Share Capital + Reserves + Long Term Liabilities
Gearing is a measure of long term stability, where a lower value represents lower debt. KCOM’s Gearing Ratio was 114.91 over the last year, a drop from 119.75 last year. In fact KCOM’s gearing was a lot lower a few years ago, having a ratio of 41.39 in 2003, and only 6.98 in 2001(FAME, 2009). BT has a Gearing Ration of 216.25, so KCOM can be said to have proportionately lower debt.
Figure 9 (FAME, 2009)
Figure 10 (FAME, 2009)
KCOM’s Gearing Ratio is constantly below the industry average. Since gearing is a measure of the relationship between equity and debt, with high gearing demonstrating high debt, we can conclude that KCOM has low debt for its industry. High gearing can be said to be good when a business is booming and when the return on capital employed is higher than the interest on debt. Whilst interest rates may currently be low, one cannot help but wonder how the current economic downturn might affect return on capital. Business seems unlikely to be booming in the year ahead, both for KCOM and for the telecoms industry generally, so KCOM’s low gearing is good for now.
DISCUSSION
KCOM is clearly relatively large for its industry, however they have lower than average profit for their peer group (FAME, 2009). Their various ratios are not encouraging. Profit Margin, Return on Total Assets and ROCE are low for their industry. ROCE is particularly worrying as it is the key measure of profitability and efficiency, and KCOM’s is low compared to the peer group, and getting worse. Profit Margin, which is considered the best measure of operational performance, is very low compared to BT, and is also dropping compared to previous years.
KCOM’s measures of liquidity; the Current Ratio and Liquidity Ratio, are lower than average but not too alarming, and the Liquidity Ratio is at least improving. Whilst Solvency Ratio is below the peer average it is higher than BT, and is above the recommended 20% mark.
Bank Borrowings 2008
£’000 2007
£’000
Amounts falling due:– between two and five years 200,000 194,500
Loan issue costs (1,031) (1,117)
Total 198,969 193,383
Table 3 (KCOM, 2008)
Table 3 shows KCOM’s Bank Borrowings. KCOM feel that they have their borrowing under control, having negotiated good banking facilities in 2007, with an overdraft interest rate favourably linked to the UK bank base rate (KCOM, 2008, p.42). The only accounting ratio where KCOM are better than their peer group average, is gearing, which is a measure of proportional debt. KCOM clearly have low debt for their industry and their ratio is much better than BT’s.
The strong cash flow from Kingston’s traditional telecoms business, and particularly business in the Hull area, is propping up the rest of the company. T&IS improved its revenue by 9.7% in the last year, compared to the 2.7% of I&MS. In the accounts KCOM state that they have raised payout levels to shareholders by 44.6 per cent, to 1.88 pence per share (KCOM, 2008, p.7). They have established a distribution policy aligned to the performance of T&IS and IS, “the more mature parts of the Group. For the purposes of setting the appropriate distribution level for dividend purposes, the Board excludes the earnings of the I&MS and Other segments from relevant earnings, which for dividend purposes therefore amounted to £31.7 million in 2008.” (KCOM, 2008, p.7). That the dividend should be linked only to the T&IS and IS segments, i.e. only the successful parts of the business, seems inconsistent. It seems that KCOM are not using I&MS in this calculation since it is not as profitable.
Since the annual report was published, CEO Malcolm Fallen has stepped down and KCOM has revealed that £107 million has been wiped off the value of it’s I&MS division, along with a 96 per cent drop in I&MS earnings (Wall Street Journal, 2009).
Since Muri college is engaged in what will probably be a long term relationship we need to ask if KCOM is looking long term; are they investing in R & D, Market development, and Non-current asset replacement? They have streamlined the I&MS area of their business and are engaging in a further strategic review with two external agencies; Cazenove and Oakley Capital (Halliwell, 2009). Streamlining in I&MS has resulted in the closure of two regional offices (with more closures scheduled in the next year), the loss of 150 jobs, and the completion of a number of systems integrations. KCOM I&MS hopes to move to higher margin markets in future (Collingridge, 2009). KCOM’s streamlining and refocusing can be seen as market development. The removal of the CEO can also be seen as an opportunity for a new start.
There are some one off costs in the accounts, such as the £3.9 million which went on a bad lease settlement, and the £5.0 million reduction in contributions from one of KCOM’s public sector long term service contracts (KCOM, 2009). These costs will have had a substantial impact on the company’s profitability.
THE FINANCIAL MARKET’S PERCEPTION OF KCOM
PROSPECTS
KCOM’s share price fell to an all time low of 9.69p during trading in January 2009, a long way from its highest price of £17 almost ten years ago (Halliwell, 2009). KCOM saw its share price fall almost 80% in the last six months of 2008, although it has started to increase in February.
Google Finance gives some figures from KCOM for the potential investor: The share price can be seen to have crept back up to 17.75p on 20th Feb 2009.
Figure 11 (Google Finance, 2009)
Investment return
Earnings per share (EPS)
EPS = net profit after tax (EATOS)
average number of ordinary shares issued
KCOM’s Earnings per share were 3.65pence in 2008, down from 4.55pence in 2007 (KCOM, 2008).
For the same period, BT’s Basic earnings per share before specific items were 23.9pence per share (BT, 2008). KCOM are clearly lagging behind BT in this respect. So KCOM shareholders are bringing in some profit, but not much for the industry.
Price/Earnings ratio
Price/Earnings ratio= market price of share / EPS
As of 27th Feb KCOM’s share price was 16.25pence (Google Finance). With Earnings per share at 3.65pence in 2008, then the Price/Earnings Ratio is 4.45.
For competitor BT, Earnings per share were 23.9pence in 2008 and on the same day; 27th Feb, their share price was 12.79, giving them a Price/Earnings Ration of 0.535.
A higher P/E ratio means that investors are paying more for each unit of net income, so the stock is more expensive compared to stock with a lower P/E ratio. So KCOM’s P/E ratio is comparatively high, making BT a far better investment for a buyer.
CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS
KCOM’s Measures of profitability and efficiency (Profit Margin, Return on Total Assets and ROCE) are comparatively low. Some, like ROCE are getting worse, year on year. Measures of liquidity (Current Ratio and Liquidity Ratio) are also low. With almost all of these ratio’s, BT, beats KCOM, and has the benefit of being a much bigger, established company. Whilst there have been rumours of KCOM closing, or at least dramatically restructuring, it’s I&MS division, it is clear that, with BT, things are much more secure. For this reason BT may be a better business partner for Muri College.
KCOM’s Solvency Ratio is below the peer average but it is higher than BT’s. KCOM’s gearing compares favourably with BT and they certainly have low debt for the industry. KCOM can partly prop themselves up with the guaranteed revenues from their Hull area business. Looked at from this perspective they can be seen as profitable and in control of their debts. Their Share Price plummeted last year but has recovered a little in the early months of 2009. For long term customers like Muri College stability is what is important, and so far they seem stable, with the T&IS market sector, providing most of that stability, even to the extent that share dividend is primarily based on it. However, should a competitor enter the Hull market, competition would be fierce, as many local people are desperate for a choice of service.
In some respects KCOM look good, going forward; they are making staff cut backs in I&MS and are streamlining this segment. Inventories are reducing (KCOM, 2008, note 19). If we decide to use KCOM then we will be in reasonably good company; in the last year they have begun contracts with North East Lincolnshire Council, Arco, Windsor Telecom and Northern Rail (Driffield Post, 2008). A summary of the events of the last year would, however, have to include the removal of the CEO. I&MS has had a bad few years (Omnetica and Technica, which merged to become Affiniti, were bought for £250 million in 2004, now the whole KCOM group is worth an estimated £70 million) (Halliwell, 2009). Looking over ratio after ratio; all below leading competitors and peer group averages, it would be difficult to recommend KCOM over major rivals such as BT. For that reason, the author would suggest that Muri College continues to search for a business partner for our telecoms needs.
EXECUTIVE SUMMARY
KCOM Group PLC is a communications and IT services provider. KCOM’s business is centred on Telecoms & Internet Services (‘T&IS’) and Integration & Managed Services (‘I&MS’).
KCOM’s accounts appear to be professional and transparent; the format looks typical, both for its industry and for other major companies.
KCOM’s profitability, efficiency and liquidity ratios are all below the peer average. They do however, seem to have their borrowing under control and their Gearing Ratio is good.
Returns for investors have been below the industry average.
The T&IS division, and particularly business in the Hull area, has been profitable and is propping up the rest of the company.
KCOM’s results for the last year have resulted in the removal of the CEO and a major structural review in the I&MS division.
The Finance team would recommend investigating other telecoms providers.
INTRODUCTION
This report will analyse the accounts of KCOM group PLC, from the perspective of Muri F.E. College, which is looking to form a mid- to long-term business relationship. The report will examine the profitability, efficiency, liquidity and long-term stability of KCOM using various financial measures. The financial data for KCOM, such as balance sheet, profit and loss accounts, cash flow statement, etc, is based on the 2007/08 Annual Report and Accounts. KCOM's accounts will be compared to those of its major historical competitor, BT, as well as to industry peer group averages. The FAME Database will be used to supply peer group statistics and as a source of bar charts, and other illustrations. KCOM’s Annual Report and Accounts, as well as FAME’s Report and Peer Review for KCOM can be found in the Appendices.
KCOM is a UK based communications and IT services provider. KCOM was formed in 1902, as Kingston Communications, Hull City Council’s telephone system. At that time, many councils ran telephone companies. Over time, most of these council run companies merged, to become British Telecom (BT). Kingston Communications was the exception. KCOM was first listed on the London stock exchange in 1999. In May 2007 Hull City Council finally sold its remaining stock holding.
The KCOM Group consists of Kingston Communications, Affiniti (the Business Integration and Services arm) and Eclipse (Internet Service Provider). KCOM’s two major trading segments are Telecoms & Internet Services (‘T&IS’) and Integration & Managed Services (‘I&MS’). T&IS addresses small and medium businesses across the United Kingdom, benefiting particularly from its market position in East Yorkshire, and particularly Hull. I&MS serves the public sector and larger UK-headquartered businesses (KCOM, 2008).
KCOM is the only T&IS supplier in the Hull area. Although the region is under OFCOM and EU monopoly rules, the Hull market is so small (190,000 homes), that entering the market does not seem economically viable for most companies. A further complication is that the first 1 km of wire from the KCOM exchange has a cross-section of 0.3 mm sq, as opposed to the standard 0.5 mm sq, meaning that there would be additional technical costs for a rival (Wray, 2008).
CRITICAL APPRAISAL OF THE ACCOUNTING POLICIES USED BY KCOM
KCOM’s accounts seem professional enough; the format looks typical, both for its industry and for other major companies. The accounts were audited in accordance with International Standards on Auditing. PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP (PwC), chartered accountants and registered auditors, were the auditors. PwC is the world's largest professional services firm and one of the world’s four biggest auditors. Their involvement should reassure us that the accounts are sound.
There are a few small points to note about the accounting policies. KCOM’s Balance Sheet includes, amongst the Non-current assets, a figure of 193,191,000 for Goodwill. Goodwill is notoriously difficult to quantify. Goodwill here represents amounts arising from the acquisition of subsidiary undertakings. It is the difference between the cost of the acquisition and the assumed value of the assets and liabilities acquired (KCOM, 2008). These figures may well be open to interpretation, and are certainly prone to change.
KCOM’s report uses Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation and Amortization (EBITDA) as one of its primary measures of profitability, in the Financial Highlights section of its report. EBITDA is commonly used, and is given similar importance by BT in their Annual Report. However, according to the Generally Accepted Accounting Principles (GAAP), EBITDA is not a defined measure and thus can be calculated however a company wishes (ICAEW, 2009).
ANALYSIS OF FINANCIAL STATEMENTS
Accounts Summary 2007/8 (KCOM, 2008)
Variable KCOM
Turnover GBP 517,297
Profit (Loss) before Taxation GBP 4,423
Current Liabilities 156,683
Net Tangible Assets (Liab.) GBP 171,904
Total Assets GBP 553,064
Current Assets
156,936
Shareholders Funds GBP 184,685
Current Ratio 1.00
Profit Margin (%) 0.86
Return on Shareholders Funds (%) 2.39
Return on Capital Employed (%) 1.12
Solvency Ratio (%) 33.39
Gearing Ratio (%) 114.91
Table 1 (KCOM, 2008 and FAME, 2009)
Different accounting formulas provide different points of view of a company’s value. This section of the report will use a number of different accounting equations to measure KCOM’s position and performance. This will enable us to assess whether Muri College should go into business with KCOM. Table 1 is an accounts summary taken from the KCOM accounts 2007/8 and the FAME database summary of KCOM’s accounts. Most of the variables used to calculate the accounting ratios are contained in the table. This report will compare KCOM’s performance with a peer group average, and with major competitor British Telecom (BT). The peer group used will be one generated by the FAME database of the ten British telecoms companies nearest to KCOM in terms of Turnover.
PERFORMANCE
Both KCOM and BT use EBITDA as the primary measure of performance in their accounts. BT’s EBITDA before specific items is £5,784 million, up 3% on 2006/7. KCOM’s EBITDA before exceptional items reduced 2.4 per cent to £69.3 million in the same period. We would expect BT to have a bigger EBITDA, as it is a much bigger company. KCOM claims, in its report, that its EBITDA reduction is wholly attributable to the I&MS segment (KCOM, 2008). This reason is reiterated throughout KCOM’s accounts, and is something we will look at in more detail, in the Discussion part of this chapter.
Figure 1 shows that KCOM’s turnover is above average for its peer group, perhaps because KCOM is a comparatively large company. BT’s turnover is higher, although this is to be expected, as BT is bigger.
Figure 1 (FAME, 2009)
KCOM’s profit before tax is £4.4 million, down from £10.6 million in 2007, a drop which KCOM attributes to an increase of £7.0 million in amortisation charges from intangible assets arising from acquisitions (KCOM, 2008).
Profit/(loss) from operations 2008 2007
Integration & Managed Services (9,482) 2,033
Telecoms & Internet Services 37,262 38,858
Information Services 3,529 3,082
Total – continuing activities before exceptional items 31,309 43,973
Table 2. KCOM’s Profit from Operations. (KCOM, 2008)
We can see from Table 2 that I&MS are making operational losses, with other segments propping it up.
Profitability and Efficiency
ROCE (or Prime Ratio)
We need to look at the productivity of all the capital used in KCOM; Return on Capital Employed (ROCE) is a measure of this. ROCE is regarded as a key measure by many businesses. ROCE is a measure of the return on funds employed, as determined by both sales profitability and efficient use of capital. Figure 2 shows that KCOM are dramatically below the industry average for ROCE and have been consistently. Figure 3 shows that they are also substantially lower than rival BT.
ROCE = 100 x Profit before interest & tax
Total assets - current liabilities
Profit = 4,423
Assets= 553,064
Current Liabilities= 156,683
ROCE = (4,423/ 553,064 – 156,683) x 100= 1.12
(In 2007; 10,630/ 527,945 – 138,234 = 2.73)
KCOM have a ROCE of 1.12, (falling from a high of 2.73 in 2007) in comparison to BT’s ROCE of 20.83. Other major competitors within the peer group do have a negative ROCE (THUS -0.96).
ROCE is a key measure of both a company’s profitability and efficiency, and KCOM clearly does not compare favourably with its industry average or its major competitors.
Figure 2 (FAME, 2009)
Figure 3 (FAME, 2009)
Profit margins
Profit Margin = Profit/Sales
Profit = 4,423
Sales = 517,297
Profit Margin = 4,423/517,297 x 100= 0.86
(2007; 10,630/483,120 x 100 = 2.20)
KCOM’s Profit Margin was down this year to 0.86, compared to 2.20 last year. Leading competitor BT has a Profit Margin for the same period, of 6.39%, although some other leading competitors are running negative figures, as can be seen in Figure 4. The Median for the FAME peer group is 1.09, so KCOM is below the average. The Profit Margin is regarded as the best measure of operational performance, as differences in how the business is financed do not affect it (Atrill and McLaney, 2008).
Figure 4 (FAME, 2009)
Return on Shareholders Funds
Profit = 4,423
Share Capital /Shareholders Equity = 184,685
Return on Shareholders Funds = Profit/Shareholders Equity x 100
= 4,423/184,685 x 100 = 2.39%
KCOM’s Return on Shareholders Funds is 2.39%, where BT have a return of 20.83%, and the peer group average is 17.51%. KCOM are well behind competitors in this measure of profitability.
Figure 5 (FAME, 2009)
Return on Total Assets
Figure 6 (FAME, 2009)
Return on Total Assets
Profit = 4,423
Total Assets = 553,064
Return on Total Assets = Profit/Total Assets = 4,423/553,064 x 100 = 0.80%
Figure 6 shows the Return on Total Assets for KCOM and the Peer Group Median from the FAME Database. As far as this measure is concerned, KCOM is once again below the Peer group median, and has been to varying degrees since 2003.
POSITION
Liquidity
Current Ratio
The Current Ratio is a financial ratio that measures whether or not a firm has enough resources to pay its debts over the next 12 months. It compares a firm's current assets to its current liabilities. As potential business partners the Current Ratio is important to us, as it expresses KCOM’s ability find cash quickly, should it need to.
The Current Ratio is expressed as follows:
Current Ratio = Current Assets / Current Liabilities
A Current Ratio of assets to liabilities, of 2:1 is generally considered to be good (i.e. current assets are twice current liabilities). KCOM’s Current Ratio is almost exactly 1.
Current Assets 156,936
Current Liabilities 156, 683
Current Ratio = 156,936/156,683 = 1.0016
(KCOM, 2008)
The Median for the FAME Peer Group is 1.04 and BT has a Current Ratio of 1.27, so once again KCOM is behind its competitors. However, KCOM’s 1, is a respectable value, meaning that assets are equivalent to liabilities.
Figure 7 (FAME, 2009)
Acid Test/Quick Ratio/Liquidity Ratio
Another measure of liquidity is the Quick Ratio or the Liquidity Ratio, which is also known as the Acid Test. This ratio expresses a company's ability to repay short-term creditors out of its total cash. The Liquidity Ratio is the result of dividing the total cash by short-term borrowings. It shows the number of times short-term liabilities are covered by cash. Generally, a good Liquidity Ratio is 1:1 or better, however this varies from industry to industry.
Current Assets 156,936
Inventories 7,699
Current Liabilities 156, 683
(KCOM, 2008)
Quick Ratio = 156,936- 7,699/156,683 = 0.95
Whilst KCOM is not at 1:1, it is not far off and is at least moving in the right direction. KCOM’s Liquidity Ratio increased to 0.95 from 0.86 in 2007 (2006: 0.75). This means that current assets are increasing relative to current liabilities.
Measures of liquidity are important to us as potential partners, as we need to be secure in the knowledge that our business partner will continue in business for the foreseeable future and is able to pay its bills.
Solvency Ratio
The Solvency Ratio is a measure of a company's ability to meet its long-term obligations. The Solvency Ratio measures the size of a company's after-tax income compared to the firm's total debt.
Acceptable Solvency Ratios vary from industry to industry, but generally a ratio higher than 20% is considered healthy. The lower a company's Solvency Ratio, the more likely it is to default on its debts.
KCOM had a Solvency Ratio of 33.39% in 2008, down from 33.64% in 2007 and down from 78.05% in 2000. KCOM’s Solvency Ratio is well above 20%; actually consistently above 30%. It is below the peer group average but higher than rival BT. (Figure 8).
Figure 8 (FAME, 2009)
Gearing (Leverage)
Gearing Ratio = Long Term Liabilities/Share Capital + Reserves + Long Term Liabilities
Gearing is a measure of long term stability, where a lower value represents lower debt. KCOM’s Gearing Ratio was 114.91 over the last year, a drop from 119.75 last year. In fact KCOM’s gearing was a lot lower a few years ago, having a ratio of 41.39 in 2003, and only 6.98 in 2001(FAME, 2009). BT has a Gearing Ration of 216.25, so KCOM can be said to have proportionately lower debt.
Figure 9 (FAME, 2009)
Figure 10 (FAME, 2009)
KCOM’s Gearing Ratio is constantly below the industry average. Since gearing is a measure of the relationship between equity and debt, with high gearing demonstrating high debt, we can conclude that KCOM has low debt for its industry. High gearing can be said to be good when a business is booming and when the return on capital employed is higher than the interest on debt. Whilst interest rates may currently be low, one cannot help but wonder how the current economic downturn might affect return on capital. Business seems unlikely to be booming in the year ahead, both for KCOM and for the telecoms industry generally, so KCOM’s low gearing is good for now.
DISCUSSION
KCOM is clearly relatively large for its industry, however they have lower than average profit for their peer group (FAME, 2009). Their various ratios are not encouraging. Profit Margin, Return on Total Assets and ROCE are low for their industry. ROCE is particularly worrying as it is the key measure of profitability and efficiency, and KCOM’s is low compared to the peer group, and getting worse. Profit Margin, which is considered the best measure of operational performance, is very low compared to BT, and is also dropping compared to previous years.
KCOM’s measures of liquidity; the Current Ratio and Liquidity Ratio, are lower than average but not too alarming, and the Liquidity Ratio is at least improving. Whilst Solvency Ratio is below the peer average it is higher than BT, and is above the recommended 20% mark.
Bank Borrowings 2008
£’000 2007
£’000
Amounts falling due:– between two and five years 200,000 194,500
Loan issue costs (1,031) (1,117)
Total 198,969 193,383
Table 3 (KCOM, 2008)
Table 3 shows KCOM’s Bank Borrowings. KCOM feel that they have their borrowing under control, having negotiated good banking facilities in 2007, with an overdraft interest rate favourably linked to the UK bank base rate (KCOM, 2008, p.42). The only accounting ratio where KCOM are better than their peer group average, is gearing, which is a measure of proportional debt. KCOM clearly have low debt for their industry and their ratio is much better than BT’s.
The strong cash flow from Kingston’s traditional telecoms business, and particularly business in the Hull area, is propping up the rest of the company. T&IS improved its revenue by 9.7% in the last year, compared to the 2.7% of I&MS. In the accounts KCOM state that they have raised payout levels to shareholders by 44.6 per cent, to 1.88 pence per share (KCOM, 2008, p.7). They have established a distribution policy aligned to the performance of T&IS and IS, “the more mature parts of the Group. For the purposes of setting the appropriate distribution level for dividend purposes, the Board excludes the earnings of the I&MS and Other segments from relevant earnings, which for dividend purposes therefore amounted to £31.7 million in 2008.” (KCOM, 2008, p.7). That the dividend should be linked only to the T&IS and IS segments, i.e. only the successful parts of the business, seems inconsistent. It seems that KCOM are not using I&MS in this calculation since it is not as profitable.
Since the annual report was published, CEO Malcolm Fallen has stepped down and KCOM has revealed that £107 million has been wiped off the value of it’s I&MS division, along with a 96 per cent drop in I&MS earnings (Wall Street Journal, 2009).
Since Muri college is engaged in what will probably be a long term relationship we need to ask if KCOM is looking long term; are they investing in R & D, Market development, and Non-current asset replacement? They have streamlined the I&MS area of their business and are engaging in a further strategic review with two external agencies; Cazenove and Oakley Capital (Halliwell, 2009). Streamlining in I&MS has resulted in the closure of two regional offices (with more closures scheduled in the next year), the loss of 150 jobs, and the completion of a number of systems integrations. KCOM I&MS hopes to move to higher margin markets in future (Collingridge, 2009). KCOM’s streamlining and refocusing can be seen as market development. The removal of the CEO can also be seen as an opportunity for a new start.
There are some one off costs in the accounts, such as the £3.9 million which went on a bad lease settlement, and the £5.0 million reduction in contributions from one of KCOM’s public sector long term service contracts (KCOM, 2009). These costs will have had a substantial impact on the company’s profitability.
THE FINANCIAL MARKET’S PERCEPTION OF KCOM
PROSPECTS
KCOM’s share price fell to an all time low of 9.69p during trading in January 2009, a long way from its highest price of £17 almost ten years ago (Halliwell, 2009). KCOM saw its share price fall almost 80% in the last six months of 2008, although it has started to increase in February.
Google Finance gives some figures from KCOM for the potential investor: The share price can be seen to have crept back up to 17.75p on 20th Feb 2009.
Figure 11 (Google Finance, 2009)
Investment return
Earnings per share (EPS)
EPS = net profit after tax (EATOS)
average number of ordinary shares issued
KCOM’s Earnings per share were 3.65pence in 2008, down from 4.55pence in 2007 (KCOM, 2008).
For the same period, BT’s Basic earnings per share before specific items were 23.9pence per share (BT, 2008). KCOM are clearly lagging behind BT in this respect. So KCOM shareholders are bringing in some profit, but not much for the industry.
Price/Earnings ratio
Price/Earnings ratio= market price of share / EPS
As of 27th Feb KCOM’s share price was 16.25pence (Google Finance). With Earnings per share at 3.65pence in 2008, then the Price/Earnings Ratio is 4.45.
For competitor BT, Earnings per share were 23.9pence in 2008 and on the same day; 27th Feb, their share price was 12.79, giving them a Price/Earnings Ration of 0.535.
A higher P/E ratio means that investors are paying more for each unit of net income, so the stock is more expensive compared to stock with a lower P/E ratio. So KCOM’s P/E ratio is comparatively high, making BT a far better investment for a buyer.
CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS
KCOM’s Measures of profitability and efficiency (Profit Margin, Return on Total Assets and ROCE) are comparatively low. Some, like ROCE are getting worse, year on year. Measures of liquidity (Current Ratio and Liquidity Ratio) are also low. With almost all of these ratio’s, BT, beats KCOM, and has the benefit of being a much bigger, established company. Whilst there have been rumours of KCOM closing, or at least dramatically restructuring, it’s I&MS division, it is clear that, with BT, things are much more secure. For this reason BT may be a better business partner for Muri College.
KCOM’s Solvency Ratio is below the peer average but it is higher than BT’s. KCOM’s gearing compares favourably with BT and they certainly have low debt for the industry. KCOM can partly prop themselves up with the guaranteed revenues from their Hull area business. Looked at from this perspective they can be seen as profitable and in control of their debts. Their Share Price plummeted last year but has recovered a little in the early months of 2009. For long term customers like Muri College stability is what is important, and so far they seem stable, with the T&IS market sector, providing most of that stability, even to the extent that share dividend is primarily based on it. However, should a competitor enter the Hull market, competition would be fierce, as many local people are desperate for a choice of service.
In some respects KCOM look good, going forward; they are making staff cut backs in I&MS and are streamlining this segment. Inventories are reducing (KCOM, 2008, note 19). If we decide to use KCOM then we will be in reasonably good company; in the last year they have begun contracts with North East Lincolnshire Council, Arco, Windsor Telecom and Northern Rail (Driffield Post, 2008). A summary of the events of the last year would, however, have to include the removal of the CEO. I&MS has had a bad few years (Omnetica and Technica, which merged to become Affiniti, were bought for £250 million in 2004, now the whole KCOM group is worth an estimated £70 million) (Halliwell, 2009). Looking over ratio after ratio; all below leading competitors and peer group averages, it would be difficult to recommend KCOM over major rivals such as BT. For that reason, the author would suggest that Muri College continues to search for a business partner for our telecoms needs.
Thursday, 9 April 2009
The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction
Walter Benjamin (1936)
“Our fine arts were developed, their types and uses were established, in times very different from the present, by men whose power of action upon things was insignificant in comparison with ours. But the amazing growth of our techniques, the adaptability and precision they have attained, the ideas and habits they are creating, make it a certainty that profound changes are impending in the ancient craft of the Beautiful. In all the arts there is a physical component which can no longer be considered or treated as it used to be, which cannot remain unaffected by our modern knowledge and power. For the last twenty years neither matter nor space nor time has been what it was from time immemorial. We must expect great innovations to transform the entire technique of the arts, thereby affecting artistic invention itself and perhaps even bringing about an amazing change in our very notion of art.”
Paul Valéry, Pièces sur L’Art, 1931
Le Conquete de l’ubiquite
Preface
When Marx undertook his critique of the capitalistic mode of production, this mode was in its infancy. Marx directed his efforts in such a way as to give them prognostic value. He went back to the basic conditions underlying capitalistic production and through his presentation showed what could be expected of capitalism in the future. The result was that one could expect it not only to exploit the proletariat with increasing intensity, but ultimately to create conditions which would make it possible to abolish capitalism itself.
The transformation of the superstructure, which takes place far more slowly than that of the substructure, has taken more than half a century to manifest in all areas of culture the change in the conditions of production. Only today can it be indicated what form this has taken. Certain prognostic requirements should be met by these statements. However, theses about the art of the proletariat after its assumption of power or about the art of a classless society would have less bearing on these demands than theses about the developmental tendencies of art under present conditions of production. Their dialectic is no less noticeable in the superstructure than in the economy. It would therefore be wrong to underestimate the value of such theses as a weapon. They brush aside a number of outmoded concepts, such as creativity and genius, eternal value and mystery – concepts whose uncontrolled (and at present almost uncontrollable) application would lead to a processing of data in the Fascist sense. The concepts which are introduced into the theory of art in what follows differ from the more familiar terms in that they are completely useless for the purposes of Fascism. They are, on the other hand, useful for the formulation of revolutionary demands in the politics of art.
I
In principle a work of art has always been reproducible. Man-made artifacts could always be imitated by men. Replicas were made by pupils in practice of their craft, by masters for diffusing their works, and, finally, by third parties in the pursuit of gain. Mechanical reproduction of a work of art, however, represents something new. Historically, it advanced intermittently and in leaps at long intervals, but with accelerated intensity. The Greeks knew only two procedures of technically reproducing works of art: founding and stamping. Bronzes, terra cottas, and coins were the only art works which they could produce in quantity. All others were unique and could not be mechanically reproduced. With the woodcut graphic art became mechanically reproducible for the first time, long before script became reproducible by print. The enormous changes which printing, the mechanical reproduction of writing, has brought about in literature are a familiar story. However, within the phenomenon which we are here examining from the perspective of world history, print is merely a special, though particularly important, case. During the Middle Ages engraving and etching were added to the woodcut; at the beginning of the nineteenth century lithography made its appearance. With lithography the technique of reproduction reached an essentially new stage. This much more direct process was distinguished by the tracing of the design on a stone rather than its incision on a block of wood or its etching on a copperplate and permitted graphic art for the first time to put its products on the market, not only in large numbers as hitherto, but also in daily changing forms. Lithography enabled graphic art to illustrate everyday life, and it began to keep pace with printing. But only a few decades after its invention, lithography was surpassed by photography. For the first time in the process of pictorial reproduction, photography freed the hand of the most important artistic functions which henceforth devolved only upon the eye looking into a lens. Since the eye perceives more swiftly than the hand can draw, the process of pictorial reproduction was accelerated so enormously that it could keep pace with speech. A film operator shooting a scene in the studio captures the images at the speed of an actor’s speech. Just as lithography virtually implied the illustrated newspaper, so did photography foreshadow the sound film. The technical reproduction of sound was tackled at the end of the last century. These convergent endeavors made predictable a situation which Paul Valery pointed up in this sentence:
“Just as water, gas, and electricity are brought into our houses from far off to satisfy our needs in response to a minimal effort, so we shall be supplied with visual or auditory images, which will appear and disappear at a simple movement of the hand, hardly more than a sign.”
Around 1900 technical reproduction had reached a standard that not only permitted it to reproduce all transmitted works of art and thus to cause the most profound change in their impact upon the public; it also had captured a place of its own among the artistic processes. For the study of this standard nothing is more revealing than the nature of the repercussions that these two different manifestations – the reproduction of works of art and the art of the film – have had on art in its traditional form.
II
Even the most perfect reproduction of a work of art is lacking in one element: its presence in time and space, its unique existence at the place where it happens to be. This unique existence of the work of art determined the history to which it was subject throughout the time of its existence. This includes the changes which it may have suffered in physical condition over the years as well as the various changes in its ownership. The traces of the first can be revealed only by chemical or physical analyses which it is impossible to perform on a reproduction; changes of ownership are subject to a tradition which must be traced from the situation of the original.
The presence of the original is the prerequisite to the concept of authenticity. Chemical analyses of the patina of a bronze can help to establish this, as does the proof that a given manuscript of the Middle Ages stems from an archive of the fifteenth century. The whole sphere of authenticity is outside technical – and, of course, not only technical – reproducibility. Confronted with its manual reproduction, which was usually branded as a forgery, the original preserved all its authority; not so vis-à-vis technical reproduction. The reason is twofold. First, process reproduction is more independent of the original than manual reproduction. For example, in photography, process reproduction can bring out those aspects of the original that are unattainable to the naked eye yet accessible to the lens, which is adjustable and chooses its angle at will. And photographic reproduction, with the aid of certain processes, such as enlargement or slow motion, can capture images which escape natural vision. Secondly, technical reproduction can put the copy of the original into situations which would be out of reach for the original itself. Above all, it enables the original to meet the beholder halfway, be it in the form of a photograph or a phonograph record. The cathedral leaves its locale to be received in the studio of a lover of art; the choral production, performed in an auditorium or in the open air, resounds in the drawing room.
The situations into which the product of mechanical reproduction can be brought may not touch the actual work of art, yet the quality of its presence is always depreciated. This holds not only for the art work but also, for instance, for a landscape which passes in review before the spectator in a movie. In the case of the art object, a most sensitive nucleus – namely, its authenticity – is interfered with whereas no natural object is vulnerable on that score. The authenticity of a thing is the essence of all that is transmissible from its beginning, ranging from its substantive duration to its testimony to the history which it has experienced. Since the historical testimony rests on the authenticity, the former, too, is jeopardized by reproduction when substantive duration ceases to matter. And what is really jeopardized when the historical testimony is affected is the authority of the object.
One might subsume the eliminated element in the term “aura” and go on to say: that which withers in the age of mechanical reproduction is the aura of the work of art. This is a symptomatic process whose significance points beyond the realm of art. One might generalize by saying: the technique of reproduction detaches the reproduced object from the domain of tradition. By making many reproductions it substitutes a plurality of copies for a unique existence. And in permitting the reproduction to meet the beholder or listener in his own particular situation, it reactivates the object reproduced. These two processes lead to a tremendous shattering of tradition which is the obverse of the contemporary crisis and renewal of mankind. Both processes are intimately connected with the contemporary mass movements. Their most powerful agent is the film. Its social significance, particularly in its most positive form, is inconceivable without its destructive, cathartic aspect, that is, the liquidation of the traditional value of the cultural heritage. This phenomenon is most palpable in the great historical films. It extends to ever new positions. In 1927 Abel Gance exclaimed enthusiastically:
“Shakespeare, Rembrandt, Beethoven will make films... all legends, all mythologies and all myths, all founders of religion, and the very religions... await their exposed resurrection, and the heroes crowd each other at the gate.”
Presumably without intending it, he issued an invitation to a far-reaching liquidation.
III
During long periods of history, the mode of human sense perception changes with humanity’s entire mode of existence. The manner in which human sense perception is organized, the medium in which it is accomplished, is determined not only by nature but by historical circumstances as well. The fifth century, with its great shifts of population, saw the birth of the late Roman art industry and the Vienna Genesis, and there developed not only an art different from that of antiquity but also a new kind of perception. The scholars of the Viennese school, Riegl and Wickhoff, who resisted the weight of classical tradition under which these later art forms had been buried, were the first to draw conclusions from them concerning the organization of perception at the time. However far-reaching their insight, these scholars limited themselves to showing the significant, formal hallmark which characterized perception in late Roman times. They did not attempt – and, perhaps, saw no way – to show the social transformations expressed by these changes of perception. The conditions for an analogous insight are more favorable in the present. And if changes in the medium of contemporary perception can be comprehended as decay of the aura, it is possible to show its social causes.
The concept of aura which was proposed above with reference to historical objects may usefully be illustrated with reference to the aura of natural ones. We define the aura of the latter as the unique phenomenon of a distance, however close it may be. If, while resting on a summer afternoon, you follow with your eyes a mountain range on the horizon or a branch which casts its shadow over you, you experience the aura of those mountains, of that branch. This image makes it easy to comprehend the social bases of the contemporary decay of the aura. It rests on two circumstances, both of which are related to the increasing significance of the masses in contemporary life. Namely, the desire of contemporary masses to bring things “closer” spatially and humanly, which is just as ardent as their bent toward overcoming the uniqueness of every reality by accepting its reproduction. Every day the urge grows stronger to get hold of an object at very close range by way of its likeness, its reproduction. Unmistakably, reproduction as offered by picture magazines and newsreels differs from the image seen by the unarmed eye. Uniqueness and permanence are as closely linked in the latter as are transitoriness and reproducibility in the former. To pry an object from its shell, to destroy its aura, is the mark of a perception whose “sense of the universal equality of things” has increased to such a degree that it extracts it even from a unique object by means of reproduction. Thus is manifested in the field of perception what in the theoretical sphere is noticeable in the increasing importance of statistics. The adjustment of reality to the masses and of the masses to reality is a process of unlimited scope, as much for thinking as for perception.
IV
The uniqueness of a work of art is inseparable from its being imbedded in the fabric of tradition. This tradition itself is thoroughly alive and extremely changeable. An ancient statue of Venus, for example, stood in a different traditional context with the Greeks, who made it an object of veneration, than with the clerics of the Middle Ages, who viewed it as an ominous idol. Both of them, however, were equally confronted with its uniqueness, that is, its aura. Originally the contextual integration of art in tradition found its expression in the cult. We know that the earliest art works originated in the service of a ritual – first the magical, then the religious kind. It is significant that the existence of the work of art with reference to its aura is never entirely separated from its ritual function. In other words, the unique value of the “authentic” work of art has its basis in ritual, the location of its original use value. This ritualistic basis, however remote, is still recognizable as secularized ritual even in the most profane forms of the cult of beauty. The secular cult of beauty, developed during the Renaissance and prevailing for three centuries, clearly showed that ritualistic basis in its decline and the first deep crisis which befell it. With the advent of the first truly revolutionary means of reproduction, photography, simultaneously with the rise of socialism, art sensed the approaching crisis which has become evident a century later. At the time, art reacted with the doctrine of l’art pour l’art, that is, with a theology of art. This gave rise to what might be called a negative theology in the form of the idea of “pure” art, which not only denied any social function of art but also any categorizing by subject matter. (In poetry, Mallarme was the first to take this position.)
An analysis of art in the age of mechanical reproduction must do justice to these relationships, for they lead us to an all-important insight: for the first time in world history, mechanical reproduction emancipates the work of art from its parasitical dependence on ritual. To an ever greater degree the work of art reproduced becomes the work of art designed for reproducibility. From a photographic negative, for example, one can make any number of prints; to ask for the “authentic” print makes no sense. But the instant the criterion of authenticity ceases to be applicable to artistic production, the total function of art is reversed. Instead of being based on ritual, it begins to be based on another practice – politics.
V
Works of art are received and valued on different planes. Two polar types stand out; with one, the accent is on the cult value; with the other, on the exhibition value of the work. Artistic production begins with ceremonial objects destined to serve in a cult. One may assume that what mattered was their existence, not their being on view. The elk portrayed by the man of the Stone Age on the walls of his cave was an instrument of magic. He did expose it to his fellow men, but in the main it was meant for the spirits. Today the cult value would seem to demand that the work of art remain hidden. Certain statues of gods are accessible only to the priest in the cella; certain Madonnas remain covered nearly all year round; certain sculptures on medieval cathedrals are invisible to the spectator on ground level. With the emancipation of the various art practices from ritual go increasing opportunities for the exhibition of their products. It is easier to exhibit a portrait bust that can be sent here and there than to exhibit the statue of a divinity that has its fixed place in the interior of a temple. The same holds for the painting as against the mosaic or fresco that preceded it. And even though the public presentability of a mass originally may have been just as great as that of a symphony, the latter originated at the moment when its public presentability promised to surpass that of the mass.
With the different methods of technical reproduction of a work of art, its fitness for exhibition increased to such an extent that the quantitative shift between its two poles turned into a qualitative transformation of its nature. This is comparable to the situation of the work of art in prehistoric times when, by the absolute emphasis on its cult value, it was, first and foremost, an instrument of magic. Only later did it come to be recognized as a work of art. In the same way today, by the absolute emphasis on its exhibition value the work of art becomes a creation with entirely new functions, among which the one we are conscious of, the artistic function, later may be recognized as incidental. This much is certain: today photography and the film are the most serviceable exemplifications of this new function.
VI
In photography, exhibition value begins to displace cult value all along the line. But cult value does not give way without resistance. It retires into an ultimate retrenchment: the human countenance. It is no accident that the portrait was the focal point of early photography. The cult of remembrance of loved ones, absent or dead, offers a last refuge for the cult value of the picture. For the last time the aura emanates from the early photographs in the fleeting expression of a human face. This is what constitutes their melancholy, incomparable beauty. But as man withdraws from the photographic image, the exhibition value for the first time shows its superiority to the ritual value. To have pinpointed this new stage constitutes the incomparable significance of Atget, who, around 1900, took photographs of deserted Paris streets. It has quite justly been said of him that he photographed them like scenes of crime. The scene of a crime, too, is deserted; it is photographed for the purpose of establishing evidence. With Atget, photographs become standard evidence for historical occurrences, and acquire a hidden political significance. They demand a specific kind of approach; free-floating contemplation is not appropriate to them. They stir the viewer; he feels challenged by them in a new way. At the same time picture magazines begin to put up signposts for him, right ones or wrong ones, no matter. For the first time, captions have become obligatory. And it is clear that they have an altogether different character than the title of a painting. The directives which the captions give to those looking at pictures in illustrated magazines soon become even more explicit and more imperative in the film where the meaning of each single picture appears to be prescribed by the sequence of all preceding ones.
VII
The nineteenth-century dispute as to the artistic value of painting versus photography today seems devious and confused. This does not diminish its importance, however; if anything, it underlines it. The dispute was in fact the symptom of a historical transformation the universal impact of which was not realized by either of the rivals. When the age of mechanical reproduction separated art from its basis in cult, the semblance of its autonomy disappeared forever. The resulting change in the function of art transcended the perspective of the century; for a long time it even escaped that of the twentieth century, which experienced the development of the film. Earlier much futile thought had been devoted to the question of whether photography is an art. The primary question – whether the very invention of photography had not transformed the entire nature of art – was not raised. Soon the film theoreticians asked the same ill-considered question with regard to the film. But the difficulties which photography caused traditional aesthetics were mere child’s play as compared to those raised by the film. Whence the insensitive and forced character of early theories of the film. Abel Gance, for instance, compares the film with hieroglyphs: “Here, by a remarkable regression, we have come back to the level of expression of the Egyptians ... Pictorial language has not yet matured because our eyes have not yet adjusted to it. There is as yet insufficient respect for, insufficient cult of, what it expresses.” Or, in the words of Séverin-Mars: “What art has been granted a dream more poetical and more real at the same time! Approached in this fashion the film might represent an incomparable means of expression. Only the most high-minded persons, in the most perfect and mysterious moments of their lives, should be allowed to enter its ambience.” Alexandre Arnoux concludes his fantasy about the silent film with the question: “Do not all the bold descriptions we have given amount to the definition of prayer?” It is instructive to note how their desire to class the film among the “arts” forces these theoreticians to read ritual elements into it – with a striking lack of discretion. Yet when these speculations were published, films like L’Opinion publique and The Gold Rush had already appeared. This, however, did not keep Abel Gance from adducing hieroglyphs for purposes of comparison, nor Séverin-Mars from speaking of the film as one might speak of paintings by Fra Angelico. Characteristically, even today ultrareactionary authors give the film a similar contextual significance – if not an outright sacred one, then at least a supernatural one. Commenting on Max Reinhardt’s film version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Werfel states that undoubtedly it was the sterile copying of the exterior world with its streets, interiors, railroad stations, restaurants, motorcars, and beaches which until now had obstructed the elevation of the film to the realm of art. “The film has not yet realized its true meaning, its real possibilities ... these consist in its unique faculty to express by natural means and with incomparable persuasiveness all that is fairylike, marvelous, supernatural.”
VIII
The artistic performance of a stage actor is definitely presented to the public by the actor in person; that of the screen actor, however, is presented by a camera, with a twofold consequence. The camera that presents the performance of the film actor to the public need not respect the performance as an integral whole. Guided by the cameraman, the camera continually changes its position with respect to the performance. The sequence of positional views which the editor composes from the material supplied him constitutes the completed film. It comprises certain factors of movement which are in reality those of the camera, not to mention special camera angles, close-ups, etc. Hence, the performance of the actor is subjected to a series of optical tests. This is the first consequence of the fact that the actor’s performance is presented by means of a camera. Also, the film actor lacks the opportunity of the stage actor to adjust to the audience during his performance, since he does not present his performance to the audience in person. This permits the audience to take the position of a critic, without experiencing any personal contact with the actor. The audience’s identification with the actor is really an identification with the camera. Consequently the audience takes the position of the camera; its approach is that of testing. This is not the approach to which cult values may be exposed.
IX
For the film, what matters primarily is that the actor represents himself to the public before the camera, rather than representing someone else. One of the first to sense the actor’s metamorphosis by this form of testing was Pirandello. Though his remarks on the subject in his novel Si Gira were limited to the negative aspects of the question and to the silent film only, this hardly impairs their validity. For in this respect, the sound film did not change anything essential. What matters is that the part is acted not for an audience but for a mechanical contrivance – in the case of the sound film, for two of them. “The film actor,” wrote Pirandello, “feels as if in exile – exiled not only from the stage but also from himself. With a vague sense of discomfort he feels inexplicable emptiness: his body loses its corporeality, it evaporates, it is deprived of reality, life, voice, and the noises caused by his moving about, in order to be changed into a mute image, flickering an instant on the screen, then vanishing into silence .... The projector will play with his shadow before the public, and he himself must be content to play before the camera.” This situation might also be characterized as follows: for the first time – and this is the effect of the film – man has to operate with his whole living person, yet forgoing its aura. For aura is tied to his presence; there can be no replica of it. The aura which, on the stage, emanates from Macbeth, cannot be separated for the spectators from that of the actor. However, the singularity of the shot in the studio is that the camera is substituted for the public. Consequently, the aura that envelops the actor vanishes, and with it the aura of the figure he portrays.
It is not surprising that it should be a dramatist such as Pirandello who, in characterizing the film, inadvertently touches on the very crisis in which we see the theater. Any thorough study proves that there is indeed no greater contrast than that of the stage play to a work of art that is completely subject to or, like the film, founded in, mechanical reproduction. Experts have long recognized that in the film “the greatest effects are almost always obtained by ‘acting’ as little as possible ... ” In 1932 Rudolf Arnheim saw “the latest trend ... in treating the actor as a stage prop chosen for its characteristics and... inserted at the proper place.” With this idea something else is closely connected. The stage actor identifies himself with the character of his role. The film actor very often is denied this opportunity. His creation is by no means all of a piece; it is composed of many separate performances. Besides certain fortuitous considerations, such as cost of studio, availability of fellow players, décor, etc., there are elementary necessities of equipment that split the actor’s work into a series of mountable episodes. In particular, lighting and its installation require the presentation of an event that, on the screen, unfolds as a rapid and unified scene, in a sequence of separate shootings which may take hours at the studio; not to mention more obvious montage. Thus a jump from the window can be shot in the studio as a jump from a scaffold, and the ensuing flight, if need be, can be shot weeks later when outdoor scenes are taken. Far more paradoxical cases can easily be construed. Let us assume that an actor is supposed to be startled by a knock at the door. If his reaction is not satisfactory, the director can resort to an expedient: when the actor happens to be at the studio again he has a shot fired behind him without his being forewarned of it. The frightened reaction can be shot now and be cut into the screen version. Nothing more strikingly shows that art has left the realm of the “beautiful semblance” which, so far, had been taken to be the only sphere where art could thrive.
X
The feeling of strangeness that overcomes the actor before the camera, as Pirandello describes it, is basically of the same kind as the estrangement felt before one’s own image in the mirror. But now the reflected image has become separable, transportable. And where is it transported? Before the public. Never for a moment does the screen actor cease to be conscious of this fact. While facing the camera he knows that ultimately he will face the public, the consumers who constitute the market. This market, where he offers not only his labor but also his whole self, his heart and soul, is beyond his reach. During the shooting he has as little contact with it as any article made in a factory. This may contribute to that oppression, that new anxiety which, according to Pirandello, grips the actor before the camera. The film responds to the shriveling of the aura with an artificial build-up of the “personality” outside the studio. The cult of the movie star, fostered by the money of the film industry, preserves not the unique aura of the person but the “spell of the personality,” the phony spell of a commodity. So long as the movie-makers’ capital sets the fashion, as a rule no other revolutionary merit can be accredited to today’s film than the promotion of a revolutionary criticism of traditional concepts of art. We do not deny that in some cases today’s films can also promote revolutionary criticism of social conditions, even of the distribution of property. However, our present study is no more specifically concerned with this than is the film production of Western Europe.
It is inherent in the technique of the film as well as that of sports that everybody who witnesses its accomplishments is somewhat of an expert. This is obvious to anyone listening to a group of newspaper boys leaning on their bicycles and discussing the outcome of a bicycle race. It is not for nothing that newspaper publishers arrange races for their delivery boys. These arouse great interest among the participants, for the victor has an opportunity to rise from delivery boy to professional racer. Similarly, the newsreel offers everyone the opportunity to rise from passer-by to movie extra. In this way any man might even find himself part of a work of art, as witness Vertov’s Three Songs About Lenin or Ivens’ Borinage. Any man today can lay claim to being filmed. This claim can best be elucidated by a comparative look at the historical situation of contemporary literature.
For centuries a small number of writers were confronted by many thousands of readers. This changed toward the end of the last century. With the increasing extension of the press, which kept placing new political, religious, scientific, professional, and local organs before the readers, an increasing number of readers became writers – at first, occasional ones. It began with the daily press opening to its readers space for “letters to the editor.” And today there is hardly a gainfully employed European who could not, in principle, find an opportunity to publish somewhere or other comments on his work, grievances, documentary reports, or that sort of thing. Thus, the distinction between author and public is about to lose its basic character. The difference becomes merely functional; it may vary from case to case. At any moment the reader is ready to turn into a writer. As expert, which he had to become willy-nilly in an extremely specialized work process, even if only in some minor respect, the reader gains access to authorship. In the Soviet Union work itself is given a voice. To present it verbally is part of a man’s ability to perform the work. Literary license is now founded on polytechnic rather than specialized training and thus becomes common property.
All this can easily be applied to the film, where transitions that in literature took centuries have come about in a decade. In cinematic practice, particularly in Russia, this change-over has partially become established reality. Some of the players whom we meet in Russian films are not actors in our sense but people who portray themselves and primarily in their own work process. In Western Europe the capitalistic exploitation of the film denies consideration to modern man’s legitimate claim to being reproduced. Under these circumstances the film industry is trying hard to spur the interest of the masses through illusion-promoting spectacles and dubious speculations.
XI
The shooting of a film, especially of a sound film, affords a spectacle unimaginable anywhere at any time before this. It presents a process in which it is impossible to assign to a spectator a viewpoint which would exclude from the actual scene such extraneous accessories as camera equipment, lighting machinery, staff assistants, etc. – unless his eye were on a line parallel with the lens. This circumstance, more than any other, renders superficial and insignificant any possible similarity between a scene in the studio and one on the stage. In the theater one is well aware of the place from which the play cannot immediately be detected as illusionary. There is no such place for the movie scene that is being shot. Its illusionary nature is that of the second degree, the result of cutting. That is to say, in the studio the mechanical equipment has penetrated so deeply into reality that its pure aspect freed from the foreign substance of equipment is the result of a special procedure, namely, the shooting by the specially adjusted camera and the mounting of the shot together with other similar ones. The equipment-free aspect of reality here has become the height of artifice; the sight of immediate reality has become an orchid in the land of technology.
Even more revealing is the comparison of these circumstances, which differ so much from those of the theater, with the situation in painting. Here the question is: How does the cameraman compare with the painter? To answer this we take recourse to an analogy with a surgical operation. The surgeon represents the polar opposite of the magician. The magician heals a sick person by the laying on of hands; the surgeon cuts into the patient’s body. The magician maintains the natural distance between the patient and himself; though he reduces it very slightly by the laying on of hands, he greatly increases it by virtue of his authority. The surgeon does exactly the reverse; he greatly diminishes the distance between himself and the patient by penetrating into the patient’s body, and increases it but little by the caution with which his hand moves among the organs. In short, in contrast to the magician - who is still hidden in the medical practitioner – the surgeon at the decisive moment abstains from facing the patient man to man; rather, it is through the operation that he penetrates into him.
Magician and surgeon compare to painter and cameraman. The painter maintains in his work a natural distance from reality, the cameraman penetrates deeply into its web. There is a tremendous difference between the pictures they obtain. That of the painter is a total one, that of the cameraman consists of multiple fragments which are assembled under a new law. Thus, for contemporary man the representation of reality by the film is incomparably more significant than that of the painter, since it offers, precisely because of the thoroughgoing permeation of reality with mechanical equipment, an aspect of reality which is free of all equipment. And that is what one is entitled to ask from a work of art.
XII
Mechanical reproduction of art changes the reaction of the masses toward art. The reactionary attitude toward a Picasso painting changes into the progressive reaction toward a Chaplin movie. The progressive reaction is characterized by the direct, intimate fusion of visual and emotional enjoyment with the orientation of the expert. Such fusion is of great social significance. The greater the decrease in the social significance of an art form, the sharper the distinction between criticism and enjoyment by the public. The conventional is uncritically enjoyed, and the truly new is criticized with aversion. With regard to the screen, the critical and the receptive attitudes of the public coincide. The decisive reason for this is that individual reactions are predetermined by the mass audience response they are about to produce, and this is nowhere more pronounced than in the film. The moment these responses become manifest they control each other. Again, the comparison with painting is fruitful. A painting has always had an excellent chance to be viewed by one person or by a few. The simultaneous contemplation of paintings by a large public, such as developed in the nineteenth century, is an early symptom of the crisis of painting, a crisis which was by no means occasioned exclusively by photography but rather in a relatively independent manner by the appeal of art works to the masses.
Painting simply is in no position to present an object for simultaneous collective experience, as it was possible for architecture at all times, for the epic poem in the past, and for the movie today. Although this circumstance in itself should not lead one to conclusions about the social role of painting, it does constitute a serious threat as soon as painting, under special conditions and, as it were, against its nature, is confronted directly by the masses. In the churches and monasteries of the Middle Ages and at the princely courts up to the end of the eighteenth century, a collective reception of paintings did not occur simultaneously, but by graduated and hierarchized mediation. The change that has come about is an expression of the particular conflict in which painting was implicated by the mechanical reproducibility of paintings. Although paintings began to be publicly exhibited in galleries and salons, there was no way for the masses to organize and control themselves in their reception. Thus the same public which responds in a progressive manner toward a grotesque film is bound to respond in a reactionary manner to surrealism.
XIII
The characteristics of the film lie not only in the manner in which man presents himself to mechanical equipment but also in the manner in which, by means of this apparatus, man can represent his environment. A glance at occupational psychology illustrates the testing capacity of the equipment. Psychoanalysis illustrates it in a different perspective. The film has enriched our field of perception with methods which can be illustrated by those of Freudian theory. Fifty years ago, a slip of the tongue passed more or less unnoticed. Only exceptionally may such a slip have revealed dimensions of depth in a conversation which had seemed to be taking its course on the surface. Since the Psychopathology of Everyday Life things have changed. This book isolated and made analyzable things which had heretofore floated along unnoticed in the broad stream of perception. For the entire spectrum of optical, and now also acoustical, perception the film has brought about a similar deepening of apperception. It is only an obverse of this fact that behavior items shown in a movie can be analyzed much more precisely and from more points of view than those presented on paintings or on the stage. As compared with painting, filmed behavior lends itself more readily to analysis because of its incomparably more precise statements of the situation. In comparison with the stage scene, the filmed behavior item lends itself more readily to analysis because it can be isolated more easily. This circumstance derives its chief importance from its tendency to promote the mutual penetration of art and science. Actually, of a screened behavior item which is neatly brought out in a certain situation, like a muscle of a body, it is difficult to say which is more fascinating, its artistic value or its value for science. To demonstrate the identity of the artistic and scientific uses of photography which heretofore usually were separated will be one of the revolutionary functions of the film.
By close-ups of the things around us, by focusing on hidden details of familiar objects, by exploring common place milieus under the ingenious guidance of the camera, the film, on the one hand, extends our comprehension of the necessities which rule our lives; on the other hand, it manages to assure us of an immense and unexpected field of action. Our taverns and our metropolitan streets, our offices and furnished rooms, our railroad stations and our factories appeared to have us locked up hopelessly. Then came the film and burst this prison-world asunder by the dynamite of the tenth of a second, so that now, in the midst of its far-flung ruins and debris, we calmly and adventurously go traveling. With the close-up, space expands; with slow motion, movement is extended. The enlargement of a snapshot does not simply render more precise what in any case was visible, though unclear: it reveals entirely new structural formations of the subject. So, too, slow motion not only presents familiar qualities of movement but reveals in them entirely unknown ones “which, far from looking like retarded rapid movements, give the effect of singularly gliding, floating, supernatural motions.” Evidently a different nature opens itself to the camera than opens to the naked eye – if only because an unconsciously penetrated space is substituted for a space consciously explored by man. Even if one has a general knowledge of the way people walk, one knows nothing of a person’s posture during the fractional second of a stride. The act of reaching for a lighter or a spoon is familiar routine, yet we hardly know what really goes on between hand and metal, not to mention how this fluctuates with our moods. Here the camera intervenes with the resources of its lowerings and liftings, its interruptions and isolations, it extensions and accelerations, its enlargements and reductions. The camera introduces us to unconscious optics as does psychoanalysis to unconscious impulses.
XIV
One of the foremost tasks of art has always been the creation of a demand which could be fully satisfied only later. The history of every art form shows critical epochs in which a certain art form aspires to effects which could be fully obtained only with a changed technical standard, that is to say, in a new art form. The extravagances and crudities of art which thus appear, particularly in the so-called decadent epochs, actually arise from the nucleus of its richest historical energies. In recent years, such barbarisms were abundant in Dadaism. It is only now that its impulse becomes discernible: Dadaism attempted to create by pictorial – and literary – means the effects which the public today seeks in the film.
Every fundamentally new, pioneering creation of demands will carry beyond its goal. Dadaism did so to the extent that it sacrificed the market values which are so characteristic of the film in favor of higher ambitions – though of course it was not conscious of such intentions as here described. The Dadaists attached much less importance to the sales value of their work than to its usefulness for contemplative immersion. The studied degradation of their material was not the least of their means to achieve this uselessness. Their poems are “word salad” containing obscenities and every imaginable waste product of language. The same is true of their paintings, on which they mounted buttons and tickets. What they intended and achieved was a relentless destruction of the aura of their creations, which they branded as reproductions with the very means of production. Before a painting of Arp’s or a poem by August Stramm it is impossible to take time for contemplation and evaluation as one would before a canvas of Derain’s or a poem by Rilke. In the decline of middle-class society, contemplation became a school for asocial behavior; it was countered by distraction as a variant of social conduct. Dadaistic activities actually assured a rather vehement distraction by making works of art the center of scandal. One requirement was foremost: to outrage the public.
From an alluring appearance or persuasive structure of sound the work of art of the Dadaists became an instrument of ballistics. It hit the spectator like a bullet, it happened to him, thus acquiring a tactile quality. It promoted a demand for the film, the distracting element of which is also primarily tactile, being based on changes of place and focus which periodically assail the spectator. Let us compare the screen on which a film unfolds with the canvas of a painting. The painting invites the spectator to contemplation; before it the spectator can abandon himself to his associations. Before the movie frame he cannot do so. No sooner has his eye grasped a scene than it is already changed. It cannot be arrested. Duhamel, who detests the film and knows nothing of its significance, though something of its structure, notes this circumstance as follows: “I can no longer think what I want to think. My thoughts have been replaced by moving images.” The spectator’s process of association in view of these images is indeed interrupted by their constant, sudden change. This constitutes the shock effect of the film, which, like all shocks, should be cushioned by heightened presence of mind. By means of its technical structure, the film has taken the physical shock effect out of the wrappers in which Dadaism had, as it were, kept it inside the moral shock effect.
XV
The mass is a matrix from which all traditional behavior toward works of art issues today in a new form. Quantity has been transmuted into quality. The greatly increased mass of participants has produced a change in the mode of participation. The fact that the new mode of participation first appeared in a disreputable form must not confuse the spectator. Yet some people have launched spirited attacks against precisely this superficial aspect. Among these, Duhamel has expressed himself in the most radical manner. What he objects to most is the kind of participation which the movie elicits from the masses. Duhamel calls the movie “a pastime for helots, a diversion for uneducated, wretched, worn-out creatures who are consumed by their worries a spectacle which requires no concentration and presupposes no intelligence which kindles no light in the heart and awakens no hope other than the ridiculous one of someday becoming a ‘star’ in Los Angeles.” Clearly, this is at bottom the same ancient lament that the masses seek distraction whereas art demands concentration from the spectator. That is a commonplace.
The question remains whether it provides a platform for the analysis of the film. A closer look is needed here. Distraction and concentration form polar opposites which may be stated as follows: A man who concentrates before a work of art is absorbed by it. He enters into this work of art the way legend tells of the Chinese painter when he viewed his finished painting. In contrast, the distracted mass absorbs the work of art. This is most obvious with regard to buildings. Architecture has always represented the prototype of a work of art the reception of which is consummated by a collectivity in a state of distraction. The laws of its reception are most instructive.
Buildings have been man’s companions since primeval times. Many art forms have developed and perished. Tragedy begins with the Greeks, is extinguished with them, and after centuries its “rules” only are revived. The epic poem, which had its origin in the youth of nations, expires in Europe at the end of the Renaissance. Panel painting is a creation of the Middle Ages, and nothing guarantees its uninterrupted existence. But the human need for shelter is lasting. Architecture has never been idle. Its history is more ancient than that of any other art, and its claim to being a living force has significance in every attempt to comprehend the relationship of the masses to art. Buildings are appropriated in a twofold manner: by use and by perception – or rather, by touch and sight. Such appropriation cannot be understood in terms of the attentive concentration of a tourist before a famous building. On the tactile side there is no counterpart to contemplation on the optical side. Tactile appropriation is accomplished not so much by attention as by habit. As regards architecture, habit determines to a large extent even optical reception. The latter, too, occurs much less through rapt attention than by noticing the object in incidental fashion. This mode of appropriation, developed with reference to architecture, in certain circumstances acquires canonical value. For the tasks which face the human apparatus of perception at the turning points of history cannot be solved by optical means, that is, by contemplation, alone. They are mastered gradually by habit, under the guidance of tactile appropriation.
The distracted person, too, can form habits. More, the ability to master certain tasks in a state of distraction proves that their solution has become a matter of habit. Distraction as provided by art presents a covert control of the extent to which new tasks have become soluble by apperception. Since, moreover, individuals are tempted to avoid such tasks, art will tackle the most difficult and most important ones where it is able to mobilize the masses. Today it does so in the film. Reception in a state of distraction, which is increasing noticeably in all fields of art and is symptomatic of profound changes in apperception, finds in the film its true means of exercise. The film with its shock effect meets this mode of reception halfway. The film makes the cult value recede into the background not only by putting the public in the position of the critic, but also by the fact that at the movies this position requires no attention. The public is an examiner, but an absent-minded one.
Epilogue
The growing proletarianization of modern man and the increasing formation of masses are two aspects of the same process. Fascism attempts to organize the newly created proletarian masses without affecting the property structure which the masses strive to eliminate. Fascism sees its salvation in giving these masses not their right, but instead a chance to express themselves. The masses have a right to change property relations; Fascism seeks to give them an expression while preserving property. The logical result of Fascism is the introduction of aesthetics into political life. The violation of the masses, whom Fascism, with its Führer cult, forces to their knees, has its counterpart in the violation of an apparatus which is pressed into the production of ritual values.
All efforts to render politics aesthetic culminate in one thing: war. War and war only can set a goal for mass movements on the largest scale while respecting the traditional property system. This is the political formula for the situation. The technological formula may be stated as follows: Only war makes it possible to mobilize all of today’s technical resources while maintaining the property system. It goes without saying that the Fascist apotheosis of war does not employ such arguments. Still, Marinetti says in his manifesto on the Ethiopian colonial war:
“For twenty-seven years we Futurists have rebelled against the branding of war as anti-aesthetic ... Accordingly we state:... War is beautiful because it establishes man’s dominion over the subjugated machinery by means of gas masks, terrifying megaphones, flame throwers, and small tanks. War is beautiful because it initiates the dreamt-of metalization of the human body. War is beautiful because it enriches a flowering meadow with the fiery orchids of machine guns. War is beautiful because it combines the gunfire, the cannonades, the cease-fire, the scents, and the stench of putrefaction into a symphony. War is beautiful because it creates new architecture, like that of the big tanks, the geometrical formation flights, the smoke spirals from burning villages, and many others ... Poets and artists of Futurism! ... remember these principles of an aesthetics of war so that your struggle for a new literature and a new graphic art ... may be illumined by them!”
This manifesto has the virtue of clarity. Its formulations deserve to be accepted by dialecticians. To the latter, the aesthetics of today’s war appears as follows: If the natural utilization of productive forces is impeded by the property system, the increase in technical devices, in speed, and in the sources of energy will press for an unnatural utilization, and this is found in war. The destructiveness of war furnishes proof that society has not been mature enough to incorporate technology as its organ, that technology has not been sufficiently developed to cope with the elemental forces of society. The horrible features of imperialistic warfare are attributable to the discrepancy between the tremendous means of production and their inadequate utilization in the process of production – in other words, to unemployment and the lack of markets. Imperialistic war is a rebellion of technology which collects, in the form of “human material,” the claims to which society has denied its natural materrial. Instead of draining rivers, society directs a human stream into a bed of trenches; instead of dropping seeds from airplanes, it drops incendiary bombs over cities; and through gas warfare the aura is abolished in a new way.
“Fiat ars – pereat mundus”, says Fascism, and, as Marinetti admits, expects war to supply the artistic gratification of a sense perception that has been changed by technology. This is evidently the consummation of “l’art pour l’art.” Mankind, which in Homer’s time was an object of contemplation for the Olympian gods, now is one for itself. Its self-alienation has reached such a degree that it can experience its own destruction as an aesthetic pleasure of the first order. This is the situation of politics which Fascism is rendering aesthetic. Communism responds by politicizing art.
“Our fine arts were developed, their types and uses were established, in times very different from the present, by men whose power of action upon things was insignificant in comparison with ours. But the amazing growth of our techniques, the adaptability and precision they have attained, the ideas and habits they are creating, make it a certainty that profound changes are impending in the ancient craft of the Beautiful. In all the arts there is a physical component which can no longer be considered or treated as it used to be, which cannot remain unaffected by our modern knowledge and power. For the last twenty years neither matter nor space nor time has been what it was from time immemorial. We must expect great innovations to transform the entire technique of the arts, thereby affecting artistic invention itself and perhaps even bringing about an amazing change in our very notion of art.”
Paul Valéry, Pièces sur L’Art, 1931
Le Conquete de l’ubiquite
Preface
When Marx undertook his critique of the capitalistic mode of production, this mode was in its infancy. Marx directed his efforts in such a way as to give them prognostic value. He went back to the basic conditions underlying capitalistic production and through his presentation showed what could be expected of capitalism in the future. The result was that one could expect it not only to exploit the proletariat with increasing intensity, but ultimately to create conditions which would make it possible to abolish capitalism itself.
The transformation of the superstructure, which takes place far more slowly than that of the substructure, has taken more than half a century to manifest in all areas of culture the change in the conditions of production. Only today can it be indicated what form this has taken. Certain prognostic requirements should be met by these statements. However, theses about the art of the proletariat after its assumption of power or about the art of a classless society would have less bearing on these demands than theses about the developmental tendencies of art under present conditions of production. Their dialectic is no less noticeable in the superstructure than in the economy. It would therefore be wrong to underestimate the value of such theses as a weapon. They brush aside a number of outmoded concepts, such as creativity and genius, eternal value and mystery – concepts whose uncontrolled (and at present almost uncontrollable) application would lead to a processing of data in the Fascist sense. The concepts which are introduced into the theory of art in what follows differ from the more familiar terms in that they are completely useless for the purposes of Fascism. They are, on the other hand, useful for the formulation of revolutionary demands in the politics of art.
I
In principle a work of art has always been reproducible. Man-made artifacts could always be imitated by men. Replicas were made by pupils in practice of their craft, by masters for diffusing their works, and, finally, by third parties in the pursuit of gain. Mechanical reproduction of a work of art, however, represents something new. Historically, it advanced intermittently and in leaps at long intervals, but with accelerated intensity. The Greeks knew only two procedures of technically reproducing works of art: founding and stamping. Bronzes, terra cottas, and coins were the only art works which they could produce in quantity. All others were unique and could not be mechanically reproduced. With the woodcut graphic art became mechanically reproducible for the first time, long before script became reproducible by print. The enormous changes which printing, the mechanical reproduction of writing, has brought about in literature are a familiar story. However, within the phenomenon which we are here examining from the perspective of world history, print is merely a special, though particularly important, case. During the Middle Ages engraving and etching were added to the woodcut; at the beginning of the nineteenth century lithography made its appearance. With lithography the technique of reproduction reached an essentially new stage. This much more direct process was distinguished by the tracing of the design on a stone rather than its incision on a block of wood or its etching on a copperplate and permitted graphic art for the first time to put its products on the market, not only in large numbers as hitherto, but also in daily changing forms. Lithography enabled graphic art to illustrate everyday life, and it began to keep pace with printing. But only a few decades after its invention, lithography was surpassed by photography. For the first time in the process of pictorial reproduction, photography freed the hand of the most important artistic functions which henceforth devolved only upon the eye looking into a lens. Since the eye perceives more swiftly than the hand can draw, the process of pictorial reproduction was accelerated so enormously that it could keep pace with speech. A film operator shooting a scene in the studio captures the images at the speed of an actor’s speech. Just as lithography virtually implied the illustrated newspaper, so did photography foreshadow the sound film. The technical reproduction of sound was tackled at the end of the last century. These convergent endeavors made predictable a situation which Paul Valery pointed up in this sentence:
“Just as water, gas, and electricity are brought into our houses from far off to satisfy our needs in response to a minimal effort, so we shall be supplied with visual or auditory images, which will appear and disappear at a simple movement of the hand, hardly more than a sign.”
Around 1900 technical reproduction had reached a standard that not only permitted it to reproduce all transmitted works of art and thus to cause the most profound change in their impact upon the public; it also had captured a place of its own among the artistic processes. For the study of this standard nothing is more revealing than the nature of the repercussions that these two different manifestations – the reproduction of works of art and the art of the film – have had on art in its traditional form.
II
Even the most perfect reproduction of a work of art is lacking in one element: its presence in time and space, its unique existence at the place where it happens to be. This unique existence of the work of art determined the history to which it was subject throughout the time of its existence. This includes the changes which it may have suffered in physical condition over the years as well as the various changes in its ownership. The traces of the first can be revealed only by chemical or physical analyses which it is impossible to perform on a reproduction; changes of ownership are subject to a tradition which must be traced from the situation of the original.
The presence of the original is the prerequisite to the concept of authenticity. Chemical analyses of the patina of a bronze can help to establish this, as does the proof that a given manuscript of the Middle Ages stems from an archive of the fifteenth century. The whole sphere of authenticity is outside technical – and, of course, not only technical – reproducibility. Confronted with its manual reproduction, which was usually branded as a forgery, the original preserved all its authority; not so vis-à-vis technical reproduction. The reason is twofold. First, process reproduction is more independent of the original than manual reproduction. For example, in photography, process reproduction can bring out those aspects of the original that are unattainable to the naked eye yet accessible to the lens, which is adjustable and chooses its angle at will. And photographic reproduction, with the aid of certain processes, such as enlargement or slow motion, can capture images which escape natural vision. Secondly, technical reproduction can put the copy of the original into situations which would be out of reach for the original itself. Above all, it enables the original to meet the beholder halfway, be it in the form of a photograph or a phonograph record. The cathedral leaves its locale to be received in the studio of a lover of art; the choral production, performed in an auditorium or in the open air, resounds in the drawing room.
The situations into which the product of mechanical reproduction can be brought may not touch the actual work of art, yet the quality of its presence is always depreciated. This holds not only for the art work but also, for instance, for a landscape which passes in review before the spectator in a movie. In the case of the art object, a most sensitive nucleus – namely, its authenticity – is interfered with whereas no natural object is vulnerable on that score. The authenticity of a thing is the essence of all that is transmissible from its beginning, ranging from its substantive duration to its testimony to the history which it has experienced. Since the historical testimony rests on the authenticity, the former, too, is jeopardized by reproduction when substantive duration ceases to matter. And what is really jeopardized when the historical testimony is affected is the authority of the object.
One might subsume the eliminated element in the term “aura” and go on to say: that which withers in the age of mechanical reproduction is the aura of the work of art. This is a symptomatic process whose significance points beyond the realm of art. One might generalize by saying: the technique of reproduction detaches the reproduced object from the domain of tradition. By making many reproductions it substitutes a plurality of copies for a unique existence. And in permitting the reproduction to meet the beholder or listener in his own particular situation, it reactivates the object reproduced. These two processes lead to a tremendous shattering of tradition which is the obverse of the contemporary crisis and renewal of mankind. Both processes are intimately connected with the contemporary mass movements. Their most powerful agent is the film. Its social significance, particularly in its most positive form, is inconceivable without its destructive, cathartic aspect, that is, the liquidation of the traditional value of the cultural heritage. This phenomenon is most palpable in the great historical films. It extends to ever new positions. In 1927 Abel Gance exclaimed enthusiastically:
“Shakespeare, Rembrandt, Beethoven will make films... all legends, all mythologies and all myths, all founders of religion, and the very religions... await their exposed resurrection, and the heroes crowd each other at the gate.”
Presumably without intending it, he issued an invitation to a far-reaching liquidation.
III
During long periods of history, the mode of human sense perception changes with humanity’s entire mode of existence. The manner in which human sense perception is organized, the medium in which it is accomplished, is determined not only by nature but by historical circumstances as well. The fifth century, with its great shifts of population, saw the birth of the late Roman art industry and the Vienna Genesis, and there developed not only an art different from that of antiquity but also a new kind of perception. The scholars of the Viennese school, Riegl and Wickhoff, who resisted the weight of classical tradition under which these later art forms had been buried, were the first to draw conclusions from them concerning the organization of perception at the time. However far-reaching their insight, these scholars limited themselves to showing the significant, formal hallmark which characterized perception in late Roman times. They did not attempt – and, perhaps, saw no way – to show the social transformations expressed by these changes of perception. The conditions for an analogous insight are more favorable in the present. And if changes in the medium of contemporary perception can be comprehended as decay of the aura, it is possible to show its social causes.
The concept of aura which was proposed above with reference to historical objects may usefully be illustrated with reference to the aura of natural ones. We define the aura of the latter as the unique phenomenon of a distance, however close it may be. If, while resting on a summer afternoon, you follow with your eyes a mountain range on the horizon or a branch which casts its shadow over you, you experience the aura of those mountains, of that branch. This image makes it easy to comprehend the social bases of the contemporary decay of the aura. It rests on two circumstances, both of which are related to the increasing significance of the masses in contemporary life. Namely, the desire of contemporary masses to bring things “closer” spatially and humanly, which is just as ardent as their bent toward overcoming the uniqueness of every reality by accepting its reproduction. Every day the urge grows stronger to get hold of an object at very close range by way of its likeness, its reproduction. Unmistakably, reproduction as offered by picture magazines and newsreels differs from the image seen by the unarmed eye. Uniqueness and permanence are as closely linked in the latter as are transitoriness and reproducibility in the former. To pry an object from its shell, to destroy its aura, is the mark of a perception whose “sense of the universal equality of things” has increased to such a degree that it extracts it even from a unique object by means of reproduction. Thus is manifested in the field of perception what in the theoretical sphere is noticeable in the increasing importance of statistics. The adjustment of reality to the masses and of the masses to reality is a process of unlimited scope, as much for thinking as for perception.
IV
The uniqueness of a work of art is inseparable from its being imbedded in the fabric of tradition. This tradition itself is thoroughly alive and extremely changeable. An ancient statue of Venus, for example, stood in a different traditional context with the Greeks, who made it an object of veneration, than with the clerics of the Middle Ages, who viewed it as an ominous idol. Both of them, however, were equally confronted with its uniqueness, that is, its aura. Originally the contextual integration of art in tradition found its expression in the cult. We know that the earliest art works originated in the service of a ritual – first the magical, then the religious kind. It is significant that the existence of the work of art with reference to its aura is never entirely separated from its ritual function. In other words, the unique value of the “authentic” work of art has its basis in ritual, the location of its original use value. This ritualistic basis, however remote, is still recognizable as secularized ritual even in the most profane forms of the cult of beauty. The secular cult of beauty, developed during the Renaissance and prevailing for three centuries, clearly showed that ritualistic basis in its decline and the first deep crisis which befell it. With the advent of the first truly revolutionary means of reproduction, photography, simultaneously with the rise of socialism, art sensed the approaching crisis which has become evident a century later. At the time, art reacted with the doctrine of l’art pour l’art, that is, with a theology of art. This gave rise to what might be called a negative theology in the form of the idea of “pure” art, which not only denied any social function of art but also any categorizing by subject matter. (In poetry, Mallarme was the first to take this position.)
An analysis of art in the age of mechanical reproduction must do justice to these relationships, for they lead us to an all-important insight: for the first time in world history, mechanical reproduction emancipates the work of art from its parasitical dependence on ritual. To an ever greater degree the work of art reproduced becomes the work of art designed for reproducibility. From a photographic negative, for example, one can make any number of prints; to ask for the “authentic” print makes no sense. But the instant the criterion of authenticity ceases to be applicable to artistic production, the total function of art is reversed. Instead of being based on ritual, it begins to be based on another practice – politics.
V
Works of art are received and valued on different planes. Two polar types stand out; with one, the accent is on the cult value; with the other, on the exhibition value of the work. Artistic production begins with ceremonial objects destined to serve in a cult. One may assume that what mattered was their existence, not their being on view. The elk portrayed by the man of the Stone Age on the walls of his cave was an instrument of magic. He did expose it to his fellow men, but in the main it was meant for the spirits. Today the cult value would seem to demand that the work of art remain hidden. Certain statues of gods are accessible only to the priest in the cella; certain Madonnas remain covered nearly all year round; certain sculptures on medieval cathedrals are invisible to the spectator on ground level. With the emancipation of the various art practices from ritual go increasing opportunities for the exhibition of their products. It is easier to exhibit a portrait bust that can be sent here and there than to exhibit the statue of a divinity that has its fixed place in the interior of a temple. The same holds for the painting as against the mosaic or fresco that preceded it. And even though the public presentability of a mass originally may have been just as great as that of a symphony, the latter originated at the moment when its public presentability promised to surpass that of the mass.
With the different methods of technical reproduction of a work of art, its fitness for exhibition increased to such an extent that the quantitative shift between its two poles turned into a qualitative transformation of its nature. This is comparable to the situation of the work of art in prehistoric times when, by the absolute emphasis on its cult value, it was, first and foremost, an instrument of magic. Only later did it come to be recognized as a work of art. In the same way today, by the absolute emphasis on its exhibition value the work of art becomes a creation with entirely new functions, among which the one we are conscious of, the artistic function, later may be recognized as incidental. This much is certain: today photography and the film are the most serviceable exemplifications of this new function.
VI
In photography, exhibition value begins to displace cult value all along the line. But cult value does not give way without resistance. It retires into an ultimate retrenchment: the human countenance. It is no accident that the portrait was the focal point of early photography. The cult of remembrance of loved ones, absent or dead, offers a last refuge for the cult value of the picture. For the last time the aura emanates from the early photographs in the fleeting expression of a human face. This is what constitutes their melancholy, incomparable beauty. But as man withdraws from the photographic image, the exhibition value for the first time shows its superiority to the ritual value. To have pinpointed this new stage constitutes the incomparable significance of Atget, who, around 1900, took photographs of deserted Paris streets. It has quite justly been said of him that he photographed them like scenes of crime. The scene of a crime, too, is deserted; it is photographed for the purpose of establishing evidence. With Atget, photographs become standard evidence for historical occurrences, and acquire a hidden political significance. They demand a specific kind of approach; free-floating contemplation is not appropriate to them. They stir the viewer; he feels challenged by them in a new way. At the same time picture magazines begin to put up signposts for him, right ones or wrong ones, no matter. For the first time, captions have become obligatory. And it is clear that they have an altogether different character than the title of a painting. The directives which the captions give to those looking at pictures in illustrated magazines soon become even more explicit and more imperative in the film where the meaning of each single picture appears to be prescribed by the sequence of all preceding ones.
VII
The nineteenth-century dispute as to the artistic value of painting versus photography today seems devious and confused. This does not diminish its importance, however; if anything, it underlines it. The dispute was in fact the symptom of a historical transformation the universal impact of which was not realized by either of the rivals. When the age of mechanical reproduction separated art from its basis in cult, the semblance of its autonomy disappeared forever. The resulting change in the function of art transcended the perspective of the century; for a long time it even escaped that of the twentieth century, which experienced the development of the film. Earlier much futile thought had been devoted to the question of whether photography is an art. The primary question – whether the very invention of photography had not transformed the entire nature of art – was not raised. Soon the film theoreticians asked the same ill-considered question with regard to the film. But the difficulties which photography caused traditional aesthetics were mere child’s play as compared to those raised by the film. Whence the insensitive and forced character of early theories of the film. Abel Gance, for instance, compares the film with hieroglyphs: “Here, by a remarkable regression, we have come back to the level of expression of the Egyptians ... Pictorial language has not yet matured because our eyes have not yet adjusted to it. There is as yet insufficient respect for, insufficient cult of, what it expresses.” Or, in the words of Séverin-Mars: “What art has been granted a dream more poetical and more real at the same time! Approached in this fashion the film might represent an incomparable means of expression. Only the most high-minded persons, in the most perfect and mysterious moments of their lives, should be allowed to enter its ambience.” Alexandre Arnoux concludes his fantasy about the silent film with the question: “Do not all the bold descriptions we have given amount to the definition of prayer?” It is instructive to note how their desire to class the film among the “arts” forces these theoreticians to read ritual elements into it – with a striking lack of discretion. Yet when these speculations were published, films like L’Opinion publique and The Gold Rush had already appeared. This, however, did not keep Abel Gance from adducing hieroglyphs for purposes of comparison, nor Séverin-Mars from speaking of the film as one might speak of paintings by Fra Angelico. Characteristically, even today ultrareactionary authors give the film a similar contextual significance – if not an outright sacred one, then at least a supernatural one. Commenting on Max Reinhardt’s film version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Werfel states that undoubtedly it was the sterile copying of the exterior world with its streets, interiors, railroad stations, restaurants, motorcars, and beaches which until now had obstructed the elevation of the film to the realm of art. “The film has not yet realized its true meaning, its real possibilities ... these consist in its unique faculty to express by natural means and with incomparable persuasiveness all that is fairylike, marvelous, supernatural.”
VIII
The artistic performance of a stage actor is definitely presented to the public by the actor in person; that of the screen actor, however, is presented by a camera, with a twofold consequence. The camera that presents the performance of the film actor to the public need not respect the performance as an integral whole. Guided by the cameraman, the camera continually changes its position with respect to the performance. The sequence of positional views which the editor composes from the material supplied him constitutes the completed film. It comprises certain factors of movement which are in reality those of the camera, not to mention special camera angles, close-ups, etc. Hence, the performance of the actor is subjected to a series of optical tests. This is the first consequence of the fact that the actor’s performance is presented by means of a camera. Also, the film actor lacks the opportunity of the stage actor to adjust to the audience during his performance, since he does not present his performance to the audience in person. This permits the audience to take the position of a critic, without experiencing any personal contact with the actor. The audience’s identification with the actor is really an identification with the camera. Consequently the audience takes the position of the camera; its approach is that of testing. This is not the approach to which cult values may be exposed.
IX
For the film, what matters primarily is that the actor represents himself to the public before the camera, rather than representing someone else. One of the first to sense the actor’s metamorphosis by this form of testing was Pirandello. Though his remarks on the subject in his novel Si Gira were limited to the negative aspects of the question and to the silent film only, this hardly impairs their validity. For in this respect, the sound film did not change anything essential. What matters is that the part is acted not for an audience but for a mechanical contrivance – in the case of the sound film, for two of them. “The film actor,” wrote Pirandello, “feels as if in exile – exiled not only from the stage but also from himself. With a vague sense of discomfort he feels inexplicable emptiness: his body loses its corporeality, it evaporates, it is deprived of reality, life, voice, and the noises caused by his moving about, in order to be changed into a mute image, flickering an instant on the screen, then vanishing into silence .... The projector will play with his shadow before the public, and he himself must be content to play before the camera.” This situation might also be characterized as follows: for the first time – and this is the effect of the film – man has to operate with his whole living person, yet forgoing its aura. For aura is tied to his presence; there can be no replica of it. The aura which, on the stage, emanates from Macbeth, cannot be separated for the spectators from that of the actor. However, the singularity of the shot in the studio is that the camera is substituted for the public. Consequently, the aura that envelops the actor vanishes, and with it the aura of the figure he portrays.
It is not surprising that it should be a dramatist such as Pirandello who, in characterizing the film, inadvertently touches on the very crisis in which we see the theater. Any thorough study proves that there is indeed no greater contrast than that of the stage play to a work of art that is completely subject to or, like the film, founded in, mechanical reproduction. Experts have long recognized that in the film “the greatest effects are almost always obtained by ‘acting’ as little as possible ... ” In 1932 Rudolf Arnheim saw “the latest trend ... in treating the actor as a stage prop chosen for its characteristics and... inserted at the proper place.” With this idea something else is closely connected. The stage actor identifies himself with the character of his role. The film actor very often is denied this opportunity. His creation is by no means all of a piece; it is composed of many separate performances. Besides certain fortuitous considerations, such as cost of studio, availability of fellow players, décor, etc., there are elementary necessities of equipment that split the actor’s work into a series of mountable episodes. In particular, lighting and its installation require the presentation of an event that, on the screen, unfolds as a rapid and unified scene, in a sequence of separate shootings which may take hours at the studio; not to mention more obvious montage. Thus a jump from the window can be shot in the studio as a jump from a scaffold, and the ensuing flight, if need be, can be shot weeks later when outdoor scenes are taken. Far more paradoxical cases can easily be construed. Let us assume that an actor is supposed to be startled by a knock at the door. If his reaction is not satisfactory, the director can resort to an expedient: when the actor happens to be at the studio again he has a shot fired behind him without his being forewarned of it. The frightened reaction can be shot now and be cut into the screen version. Nothing more strikingly shows that art has left the realm of the “beautiful semblance” which, so far, had been taken to be the only sphere where art could thrive.
X
The feeling of strangeness that overcomes the actor before the camera, as Pirandello describes it, is basically of the same kind as the estrangement felt before one’s own image in the mirror. But now the reflected image has become separable, transportable. And where is it transported? Before the public. Never for a moment does the screen actor cease to be conscious of this fact. While facing the camera he knows that ultimately he will face the public, the consumers who constitute the market. This market, where he offers not only his labor but also his whole self, his heart and soul, is beyond his reach. During the shooting he has as little contact with it as any article made in a factory. This may contribute to that oppression, that new anxiety which, according to Pirandello, grips the actor before the camera. The film responds to the shriveling of the aura with an artificial build-up of the “personality” outside the studio. The cult of the movie star, fostered by the money of the film industry, preserves not the unique aura of the person but the “spell of the personality,” the phony spell of a commodity. So long as the movie-makers’ capital sets the fashion, as a rule no other revolutionary merit can be accredited to today’s film than the promotion of a revolutionary criticism of traditional concepts of art. We do not deny that in some cases today’s films can also promote revolutionary criticism of social conditions, even of the distribution of property. However, our present study is no more specifically concerned with this than is the film production of Western Europe.
It is inherent in the technique of the film as well as that of sports that everybody who witnesses its accomplishments is somewhat of an expert. This is obvious to anyone listening to a group of newspaper boys leaning on their bicycles and discussing the outcome of a bicycle race. It is not for nothing that newspaper publishers arrange races for their delivery boys. These arouse great interest among the participants, for the victor has an opportunity to rise from delivery boy to professional racer. Similarly, the newsreel offers everyone the opportunity to rise from passer-by to movie extra. In this way any man might even find himself part of a work of art, as witness Vertov’s Three Songs About Lenin or Ivens’ Borinage. Any man today can lay claim to being filmed. This claim can best be elucidated by a comparative look at the historical situation of contemporary literature.
For centuries a small number of writers were confronted by many thousands of readers. This changed toward the end of the last century. With the increasing extension of the press, which kept placing new political, religious, scientific, professional, and local organs before the readers, an increasing number of readers became writers – at first, occasional ones. It began with the daily press opening to its readers space for “letters to the editor.” And today there is hardly a gainfully employed European who could not, in principle, find an opportunity to publish somewhere or other comments on his work, grievances, documentary reports, or that sort of thing. Thus, the distinction between author and public is about to lose its basic character. The difference becomes merely functional; it may vary from case to case. At any moment the reader is ready to turn into a writer. As expert, which he had to become willy-nilly in an extremely specialized work process, even if only in some minor respect, the reader gains access to authorship. In the Soviet Union work itself is given a voice. To present it verbally is part of a man’s ability to perform the work. Literary license is now founded on polytechnic rather than specialized training and thus becomes common property.
All this can easily be applied to the film, where transitions that in literature took centuries have come about in a decade. In cinematic practice, particularly in Russia, this change-over has partially become established reality. Some of the players whom we meet in Russian films are not actors in our sense but people who portray themselves and primarily in their own work process. In Western Europe the capitalistic exploitation of the film denies consideration to modern man’s legitimate claim to being reproduced. Under these circumstances the film industry is trying hard to spur the interest of the masses through illusion-promoting spectacles and dubious speculations.
XI
The shooting of a film, especially of a sound film, affords a spectacle unimaginable anywhere at any time before this. It presents a process in which it is impossible to assign to a spectator a viewpoint which would exclude from the actual scene such extraneous accessories as camera equipment, lighting machinery, staff assistants, etc. – unless his eye were on a line parallel with the lens. This circumstance, more than any other, renders superficial and insignificant any possible similarity between a scene in the studio and one on the stage. In the theater one is well aware of the place from which the play cannot immediately be detected as illusionary. There is no such place for the movie scene that is being shot. Its illusionary nature is that of the second degree, the result of cutting. That is to say, in the studio the mechanical equipment has penetrated so deeply into reality that its pure aspect freed from the foreign substance of equipment is the result of a special procedure, namely, the shooting by the specially adjusted camera and the mounting of the shot together with other similar ones. The equipment-free aspect of reality here has become the height of artifice; the sight of immediate reality has become an orchid in the land of technology.
Even more revealing is the comparison of these circumstances, which differ so much from those of the theater, with the situation in painting. Here the question is: How does the cameraman compare with the painter? To answer this we take recourse to an analogy with a surgical operation. The surgeon represents the polar opposite of the magician. The magician heals a sick person by the laying on of hands; the surgeon cuts into the patient’s body. The magician maintains the natural distance between the patient and himself; though he reduces it very slightly by the laying on of hands, he greatly increases it by virtue of his authority. The surgeon does exactly the reverse; he greatly diminishes the distance between himself and the patient by penetrating into the patient’s body, and increases it but little by the caution with which his hand moves among the organs. In short, in contrast to the magician - who is still hidden in the medical practitioner – the surgeon at the decisive moment abstains from facing the patient man to man; rather, it is through the operation that he penetrates into him.
Magician and surgeon compare to painter and cameraman. The painter maintains in his work a natural distance from reality, the cameraman penetrates deeply into its web. There is a tremendous difference between the pictures they obtain. That of the painter is a total one, that of the cameraman consists of multiple fragments which are assembled under a new law. Thus, for contemporary man the representation of reality by the film is incomparably more significant than that of the painter, since it offers, precisely because of the thoroughgoing permeation of reality with mechanical equipment, an aspect of reality which is free of all equipment. And that is what one is entitled to ask from a work of art.
XII
Mechanical reproduction of art changes the reaction of the masses toward art. The reactionary attitude toward a Picasso painting changes into the progressive reaction toward a Chaplin movie. The progressive reaction is characterized by the direct, intimate fusion of visual and emotional enjoyment with the orientation of the expert. Such fusion is of great social significance. The greater the decrease in the social significance of an art form, the sharper the distinction between criticism and enjoyment by the public. The conventional is uncritically enjoyed, and the truly new is criticized with aversion. With regard to the screen, the critical and the receptive attitudes of the public coincide. The decisive reason for this is that individual reactions are predetermined by the mass audience response they are about to produce, and this is nowhere more pronounced than in the film. The moment these responses become manifest they control each other. Again, the comparison with painting is fruitful. A painting has always had an excellent chance to be viewed by one person or by a few. The simultaneous contemplation of paintings by a large public, such as developed in the nineteenth century, is an early symptom of the crisis of painting, a crisis which was by no means occasioned exclusively by photography but rather in a relatively independent manner by the appeal of art works to the masses.
Painting simply is in no position to present an object for simultaneous collective experience, as it was possible for architecture at all times, for the epic poem in the past, and for the movie today. Although this circumstance in itself should not lead one to conclusions about the social role of painting, it does constitute a serious threat as soon as painting, under special conditions and, as it were, against its nature, is confronted directly by the masses. In the churches and monasteries of the Middle Ages and at the princely courts up to the end of the eighteenth century, a collective reception of paintings did not occur simultaneously, but by graduated and hierarchized mediation. The change that has come about is an expression of the particular conflict in which painting was implicated by the mechanical reproducibility of paintings. Although paintings began to be publicly exhibited in galleries and salons, there was no way for the masses to organize and control themselves in their reception. Thus the same public which responds in a progressive manner toward a grotesque film is bound to respond in a reactionary manner to surrealism.
XIII
The characteristics of the film lie not only in the manner in which man presents himself to mechanical equipment but also in the manner in which, by means of this apparatus, man can represent his environment. A glance at occupational psychology illustrates the testing capacity of the equipment. Psychoanalysis illustrates it in a different perspective. The film has enriched our field of perception with methods which can be illustrated by those of Freudian theory. Fifty years ago, a slip of the tongue passed more or less unnoticed. Only exceptionally may such a slip have revealed dimensions of depth in a conversation which had seemed to be taking its course on the surface. Since the Psychopathology of Everyday Life things have changed. This book isolated and made analyzable things which had heretofore floated along unnoticed in the broad stream of perception. For the entire spectrum of optical, and now also acoustical, perception the film has brought about a similar deepening of apperception. It is only an obverse of this fact that behavior items shown in a movie can be analyzed much more precisely and from more points of view than those presented on paintings or on the stage. As compared with painting, filmed behavior lends itself more readily to analysis because of its incomparably more precise statements of the situation. In comparison with the stage scene, the filmed behavior item lends itself more readily to analysis because it can be isolated more easily. This circumstance derives its chief importance from its tendency to promote the mutual penetration of art and science. Actually, of a screened behavior item which is neatly brought out in a certain situation, like a muscle of a body, it is difficult to say which is more fascinating, its artistic value or its value for science. To demonstrate the identity of the artistic and scientific uses of photography which heretofore usually were separated will be one of the revolutionary functions of the film.
By close-ups of the things around us, by focusing on hidden details of familiar objects, by exploring common place milieus under the ingenious guidance of the camera, the film, on the one hand, extends our comprehension of the necessities which rule our lives; on the other hand, it manages to assure us of an immense and unexpected field of action. Our taverns and our metropolitan streets, our offices and furnished rooms, our railroad stations and our factories appeared to have us locked up hopelessly. Then came the film and burst this prison-world asunder by the dynamite of the tenth of a second, so that now, in the midst of its far-flung ruins and debris, we calmly and adventurously go traveling. With the close-up, space expands; with slow motion, movement is extended. The enlargement of a snapshot does not simply render more precise what in any case was visible, though unclear: it reveals entirely new structural formations of the subject. So, too, slow motion not only presents familiar qualities of movement but reveals in them entirely unknown ones “which, far from looking like retarded rapid movements, give the effect of singularly gliding, floating, supernatural motions.” Evidently a different nature opens itself to the camera than opens to the naked eye – if only because an unconsciously penetrated space is substituted for a space consciously explored by man. Even if one has a general knowledge of the way people walk, one knows nothing of a person’s posture during the fractional second of a stride. The act of reaching for a lighter or a spoon is familiar routine, yet we hardly know what really goes on between hand and metal, not to mention how this fluctuates with our moods. Here the camera intervenes with the resources of its lowerings and liftings, its interruptions and isolations, it extensions and accelerations, its enlargements and reductions. The camera introduces us to unconscious optics as does psychoanalysis to unconscious impulses.
XIV
One of the foremost tasks of art has always been the creation of a demand which could be fully satisfied only later. The history of every art form shows critical epochs in which a certain art form aspires to effects which could be fully obtained only with a changed technical standard, that is to say, in a new art form. The extravagances and crudities of art which thus appear, particularly in the so-called decadent epochs, actually arise from the nucleus of its richest historical energies. In recent years, such barbarisms were abundant in Dadaism. It is only now that its impulse becomes discernible: Dadaism attempted to create by pictorial – and literary – means the effects which the public today seeks in the film.
Every fundamentally new, pioneering creation of demands will carry beyond its goal. Dadaism did so to the extent that it sacrificed the market values which are so characteristic of the film in favor of higher ambitions – though of course it was not conscious of such intentions as here described. The Dadaists attached much less importance to the sales value of their work than to its usefulness for contemplative immersion. The studied degradation of their material was not the least of their means to achieve this uselessness. Their poems are “word salad” containing obscenities and every imaginable waste product of language. The same is true of their paintings, on which they mounted buttons and tickets. What they intended and achieved was a relentless destruction of the aura of their creations, which they branded as reproductions with the very means of production. Before a painting of Arp’s or a poem by August Stramm it is impossible to take time for contemplation and evaluation as one would before a canvas of Derain’s or a poem by Rilke. In the decline of middle-class society, contemplation became a school for asocial behavior; it was countered by distraction as a variant of social conduct. Dadaistic activities actually assured a rather vehement distraction by making works of art the center of scandal. One requirement was foremost: to outrage the public.
From an alluring appearance or persuasive structure of sound the work of art of the Dadaists became an instrument of ballistics. It hit the spectator like a bullet, it happened to him, thus acquiring a tactile quality. It promoted a demand for the film, the distracting element of which is also primarily tactile, being based on changes of place and focus which periodically assail the spectator. Let us compare the screen on which a film unfolds with the canvas of a painting. The painting invites the spectator to contemplation; before it the spectator can abandon himself to his associations. Before the movie frame he cannot do so. No sooner has his eye grasped a scene than it is already changed. It cannot be arrested. Duhamel, who detests the film and knows nothing of its significance, though something of its structure, notes this circumstance as follows: “I can no longer think what I want to think. My thoughts have been replaced by moving images.” The spectator’s process of association in view of these images is indeed interrupted by their constant, sudden change. This constitutes the shock effect of the film, which, like all shocks, should be cushioned by heightened presence of mind. By means of its technical structure, the film has taken the physical shock effect out of the wrappers in which Dadaism had, as it were, kept it inside the moral shock effect.
XV
The mass is a matrix from which all traditional behavior toward works of art issues today in a new form. Quantity has been transmuted into quality. The greatly increased mass of participants has produced a change in the mode of participation. The fact that the new mode of participation first appeared in a disreputable form must not confuse the spectator. Yet some people have launched spirited attacks against precisely this superficial aspect. Among these, Duhamel has expressed himself in the most radical manner. What he objects to most is the kind of participation which the movie elicits from the masses. Duhamel calls the movie “a pastime for helots, a diversion for uneducated, wretched, worn-out creatures who are consumed by their worries a spectacle which requires no concentration and presupposes no intelligence which kindles no light in the heart and awakens no hope other than the ridiculous one of someday becoming a ‘star’ in Los Angeles.” Clearly, this is at bottom the same ancient lament that the masses seek distraction whereas art demands concentration from the spectator. That is a commonplace.
The question remains whether it provides a platform for the analysis of the film. A closer look is needed here. Distraction and concentration form polar opposites which may be stated as follows: A man who concentrates before a work of art is absorbed by it. He enters into this work of art the way legend tells of the Chinese painter when he viewed his finished painting. In contrast, the distracted mass absorbs the work of art. This is most obvious with regard to buildings. Architecture has always represented the prototype of a work of art the reception of which is consummated by a collectivity in a state of distraction. The laws of its reception are most instructive.
Buildings have been man’s companions since primeval times. Many art forms have developed and perished. Tragedy begins with the Greeks, is extinguished with them, and after centuries its “rules” only are revived. The epic poem, which had its origin in the youth of nations, expires in Europe at the end of the Renaissance. Panel painting is a creation of the Middle Ages, and nothing guarantees its uninterrupted existence. But the human need for shelter is lasting. Architecture has never been idle. Its history is more ancient than that of any other art, and its claim to being a living force has significance in every attempt to comprehend the relationship of the masses to art. Buildings are appropriated in a twofold manner: by use and by perception – or rather, by touch and sight. Such appropriation cannot be understood in terms of the attentive concentration of a tourist before a famous building. On the tactile side there is no counterpart to contemplation on the optical side. Tactile appropriation is accomplished not so much by attention as by habit. As regards architecture, habit determines to a large extent even optical reception. The latter, too, occurs much less through rapt attention than by noticing the object in incidental fashion. This mode of appropriation, developed with reference to architecture, in certain circumstances acquires canonical value. For the tasks which face the human apparatus of perception at the turning points of history cannot be solved by optical means, that is, by contemplation, alone. They are mastered gradually by habit, under the guidance of tactile appropriation.
The distracted person, too, can form habits. More, the ability to master certain tasks in a state of distraction proves that their solution has become a matter of habit. Distraction as provided by art presents a covert control of the extent to which new tasks have become soluble by apperception. Since, moreover, individuals are tempted to avoid such tasks, art will tackle the most difficult and most important ones where it is able to mobilize the masses. Today it does so in the film. Reception in a state of distraction, which is increasing noticeably in all fields of art and is symptomatic of profound changes in apperception, finds in the film its true means of exercise. The film with its shock effect meets this mode of reception halfway. The film makes the cult value recede into the background not only by putting the public in the position of the critic, but also by the fact that at the movies this position requires no attention. The public is an examiner, but an absent-minded one.
Epilogue
The growing proletarianization of modern man and the increasing formation of masses are two aspects of the same process. Fascism attempts to organize the newly created proletarian masses without affecting the property structure which the masses strive to eliminate. Fascism sees its salvation in giving these masses not their right, but instead a chance to express themselves. The masses have a right to change property relations; Fascism seeks to give them an expression while preserving property. The logical result of Fascism is the introduction of aesthetics into political life. The violation of the masses, whom Fascism, with its Führer cult, forces to their knees, has its counterpart in the violation of an apparatus which is pressed into the production of ritual values.
All efforts to render politics aesthetic culminate in one thing: war. War and war only can set a goal for mass movements on the largest scale while respecting the traditional property system. This is the political formula for the situation. The technological formula may be stated as follows: Only war makes it possible to mobilize all of today’s technical resources while maintaining the property system. It goes without saying that the Fascist apotheosis of war does not employ such arguments. Still, Marinetti says in his manifesto on the Ethiopian colonial war:
“For twenty-seven years we Futurists have rebelled against the branding of war as anti-aesthetic ... Accordingly we state:... War is beautiful because it establishes man’s dominion over the subjugated machinery by means of gas masks, terrifying megaphones, flame throwers, and small tanks. War is beautiful because it initiates the dreamt-of metalization of the human body. War is beautiful because it enriches a flowering meadow with the fiery orchids of machine guns. War is beautiful because it combines the gunfire, the cannonades, the cease-fire, the scents, and the stench of putrefaction into a symphony. War is beautiful because it creates new architecture, like that of the big tanks, the geometrical formation flights, the smoke spirals from burning villages, and many others ... Poets and artists of Futurism! ... remember these principles of an aesthetics of war so that your struggle for a new literature and a new graphic art ... may be illumined by them!”
This manifesto has the virtue of clarity. Its formulations deserve to be accepted by dialecticians. To the latter, the aesthetics of today’s war appears as follows: If the natural utilization of productive forces is impeded by the property system, the increase in technical devices, in speed, and in the sources of energy will press for an unnatural utilization, and this is found in war. The destructiveness of war furnishes proof that society has not been mature enough to incorporate technology as its organ, that technology has not been sufficiently developed to cope with the elemental forces of society. The horrible features of imperialistic warfare are attributable to the discrepancy between the tremendous means of production and their inadequate utilization in the process of production – in other words, to unemployment and the lack of markets. Imperialistic war is a rebellion of technology which collects, in the form of “human material,” the claims to which society has denied its natural materrial. Instead of draining rivers, society directs a human stream into a bed of trenches; instead of dropping seeds from airplanes, it drops incendiary bombs over cities; and through gas warfare the aura is abolished in a new way.
“Fiat ars – pereat mundus”, says Fascism, and, as Marinetti admits, expects war to supply the artistic gratification of a sense perception that has been changed by technology. This is evidently the consummation of “l’art pour l’art.” Mankind, which in Homer’s time was an object of contemplation for the Olympian gods, now is one for itself. Its self-alienation has reached such a degree that it can experience its own destruction as an aesthetic pleasure of the first order. This is the situation of politics which Fascism is rendering aesthetic. Communism responds by politicizing art.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)