As part of the possible refurbishment of the resources area i make an appointment to visit Salford university's resources room which is "all singing, all dancing" (technical speak for modern). I take a day off work and agree to be there sometime in the afternoon before 4pm, which is when they close. Anyway i kind of goof around in the morning and finally set off at about 12.30 thinking i've got plenty of time. Halfway across the M62 a lorry gets blown over (it was the windiest day of the year) and is straddling all three lanes of the motorway so i'm pretty much stationary for the best part of two hours. I finally arrive in Salford at about 3.30. Now, maybe i should have just turned around and come back another day but i just kind of wanted to get it done. By the time i got to Salford i felt like i'd come so far that there was no way i was gonna give up now. Anyway after 10 minutes or so i found the university and i'd rung the lady i was supposed to meet and told her that i would be there for sure. So, the resources centre is on the 9th floor of a building called The Maxwell building. I park my car and ask the Car Park attendent where the Maxwell building is?
Attendant: "Are you here for your Graduation?"
Me: "Er, no, i'm just supposed to meet someone in the Maxwell building before four"
Attendant: (He looks at his watch) "well, you'll be lucky, the Maxwell building is that one over there" (and he points to a huge building far off in the distance)
So i'm already pretty stressed out because i'm so late and now it really looks like i'm not gonna make it, but, you know, by now i've got that determined thing going on so off i run across the campus like some crazed running suited man.
I get to the Maxwell building, sweaty and dishevelled, and its already 3.50. I seem to be at the rear of the building and cannot find a door. I run along one side of the building and amazingly there are no doors whatsoever. I'm frantic by this time, i cannot believe i've come so far; I'm actually outside the building, but i cannot get in.
I run along the other side of the building and about half way along finally find an entrance. It says on it 'Maxwell Building: Great Hall'. Now you must remember that all of this is happening very fast as i'm despirate to make that 4 oclock deadline. I think to myself "Maxwell Building Great Hall, well at least im in the maxwell building, all i've got to do now is look around for stairs". The door opens into a little hallway with a cupboard at one end and large double doors at the other. I open the double doors and step in.........
To find myself at the rear of the stage in the main hall in the middle of the graduation ceremony. The hall is packed full of Graduands all of whom are looking at the strange sweaty, flustered man who has appeared on the stage. I'm actually on the bloody stage in the middle of a graduation ceremony. Just infront of me is the chancellor or whoever, who is delivering a speech to the packed hall. To the left of me along the back of the stage are various bigwigs in their graduation finery. Everyone is looking at me in shock and amazement.
I stand there, for what could only really be seconds. Finally i exclaim "Whoaw" and run right back out through the doors i came in through. I hightail it right out of there as fast as i can.