Marrying Amy – Part 6

The comedic story of an English guy marrying a Taiwanese girl and the misunderstandings and cultural clashes which ensue. Having travelled to Taiwan to get permission to marry Amy from her father, 3 months later I found myself on another plane to Taipei.

Having finally received permission to marry Amy, and as Amy’s parents began to make the arrangements for the wedding I was told by Amy that we would have to go to Taiwan to have our wedding photos taken, several months before the wedding.
‘Eh?
The wedding photos taken three months before the wedding?’
It turns out that it is a tradition in Taiwan (and in other parts of the Far East) that couples pay a photography studio to have a series of glamorous (or tacky, depending on your point of view) photos taken before the wedding. These photos are then displayed at the Wedding reception, and as little cards are given away to guests. The cost of the day’s photography (which includes dress hire on the photography day and on the wedding day) and set of nicely framed photos and cards is approximately £1,000.
Now. £1,000, plus £800 each for plane fares to go to Taiwan (well plus all the other money you spend when you do stuff abroad) just to have a few photos taken, means that these 10 photos are going to cost me about £3,000. Wow, that’s some pretty expensive photos.
Now, I am Yorkshire born and bred so the idea of spending £3,000 on a few photos is pretty much against my religion.
‘Can’t we just ignore this bit and not have the photos?’
‘Can’t we just have some taken here and email them to your mum to print out?’
‘Can’t we just say we cant get the time off work?’
‘Can’t we say we don’t do this in England and were going to follow English tradition for this bit?’
‘Can’t we just pretend to be sick or something?’
‘Can’t we get out of it somehow?’
When Amy (who was clearly dismayed by my trying to worm my way out of spending the money) tried my excuses out on her mum, the reaction was progressively more and more despairing. She wasn’t happy that her daughter was marring this older, non-Christian, foreigner. And now he was trying to ruin the plan to have a nice normal Taiwanese wedding by being tight.
Each excuse I offered was roundly dismissed until eventually I was informed that if I didn’t fork up the money and get us on a plane to Taiwan I would bring shame on myself, shame on Amy and shame on her whole family.
Hmmm... £3,000 of a Yorkshire man’s hard earned cash?
Or shame on an entire family?

What to do..........?

To be continued...

Marrying Amy. Part 5

And so with just a few hours to go before we left Taipei, Amy's Parents drove us to the airport. On the way to the airport there is a country park with active geysers which Mum and Dad wanted us to see. We walked a long country path to reach the geysers and enjoyed chatting as a group. At one point we split into boys and girls, and once again, perhaps for the last time, i found myself in a perfect position to ask Amy’s Dad for her hand in marriage.
"Can i ask you a serious question?" He turned to me, almost as if he had been expecting some such question; "Yes."

Me: "I really love your daughter and would very much like to spend the rest of my life with her. I hope you know that i am a serious person and that i will always look after her. I would like to ask her to marry me sometime soon and, well, would just like to know that it is ok with you.....I would like your approval, basically."

Father: "Well, we like you very much, but i must ask my wife something like this. I must ask my wife."

Me: "Yes, of course"

Father: "My religion means very much to me. It is very important. I know my daughter is lazy and does not always go to the church, it is important to me, and to my wife, that she goes to the church, every week. We hope that you can make sure that she goes to the church. It is important to me. Do you understand?"

Me: "Yes, of course. I will do my best."

Father: "Our religion is very important to me and my wife."

Me: "OK"

Father: "My daughter is lazy sometimes. I hope you can help. I would like very much if she would go to church every week. It is important that she has a relationship with Jesus."

Me: "Yes, of course."

Father: “Religion is important to me."

Later as Amy and I sat in the airport she asked me what he had said? Had he given his permission?
"Well, I'm not sure. It was abit unclear. He said he'd have to ask your mum, which is fair enough, and then he sort of talked alot about how important his religion is to him."
"He does that alot"
Me: "Yes, he went on about it for quite a long time"
"Hmmm. But he didn't say "No""
Me: "Yes, exactly. I think its good news really. I sort of got the idea that he didn't object to the idea, even that they like me and are happy for us to get married. He didn't seem to object. Yes, i think its pretty much good news, virtually a "Yes".

And so we returned home and Amy had to write her Masters Dissertation and was under alot of stress and we all but forgot about all the fuss of asking for her hand in marriage, assuming that, in some way it had already been dealt with. We had done that part now, and could move on with lifes next challenge......
And then one day, several weeks later we got a phone call from Amy's mother......

Art and Isolation

"The association of art and isolation is all the more dangerous because, as it flatters the self-esteem of the productive person, it effectively guards the interests of a social order that is hostile to him........
....The bourgeois have very good reasons for imputing supernatural creative power to labour." - Walter Benjamin